Director: Michael Chaves

Cast: Linda Cardellini, Raymond Cruz, Marisol Ramirez

Score: 1/5 stars

There are good horror movies, there are bad horror movies, and somewhere beneath all the husks of the bad ones where the sun doesn’t shine exists The Curse of the Weeping Woman: A tedious exercise in clichés and recycled plot that does naught for the film. The tag line says: “She wants your children” but the only thing you’ll wish she came for is your soul, for it will be bored to death.

The story is predictably passé: A single mother, Anna (Cardellini) finds and, quote, “rescues” two kids from their mother, who insists “she” (the Weeping Woman) is coming for them. Not long after, they are killed and “she” sets her sights on Anna’s kids. If that didn’t make sense to you, don’t worry. It doesn’t really make any sense in the film either.

If the issues with the film were to be listed in bullet points, it would take far too long to read and even longer to understand, so here’s a brief breakdown: The script is nothing more than the script of The Nun taken apart and replaced with a complete lack of atmosphere and tension, characters that don’t feel like they live in the world at all, and the film’s own complete lack of interest in the evil haunting of the characters.

The horror of the old days existed as more than just a medium to scare people; it got into their very skin and made them uncomfortable for hours, even days. The concept of horror is it inspires not only fear but also such an overwhelming sense of dread and creepiness that you’ll be looking over your shoulder for things that go bump in the night. The idea that the film presents gets rooted in your mind. On that scale, this film fails miserably. Instead of taking a dive into the lore of the Weeping Woman, the film is more than happy to present thinly spread-out jump scares and ghoulish screams. The only thing accurate or consistent about the Weeping Woman is that she speaks Spanish and not English and her costume design is arguably well-crafted.

The characters in this film have no distinct personality or traits that make the supernatural attacks on their family feel authentic. The Weeping Woman could have picked literally any family from two streets over and nothing would have changed. Even the priest, who is supposed to be a man of God who renounced the church, has nothing to offer that The Nun didn’t, except a slightly different set of anti-demon tools. In fact, the entire film could have been avoided if Anna had heeded warnings.

The Curse of the Weeping Woman is a profound exercise in what not to do with a horror film. Instead of making smart choices with the characters, it dumbs them down to being mere plot devices and is jarringly tiring to get through. Perhaps the only saving grace is its short run length at 93 minutes. It’s a sad tale that even at that length, the only thing to look forward to is the interval.