Anniversaries can be life-endangering

As if mankind didn’t have enough suffering having to remember anniversaries of days when our loved ones were born, married, divorced, or re-married, we have those international anniversaries the whole world is supposed to remember as well, writes Indu Balachandran.

The whole world just celebrated the recurring anniversary of the year on January 1. But I can tell you that right now, someone, somewhere is making an issue out of their own anniversary. About a forgotten anniversary, that is.

So this is a timely reminder (especially to the male of the species) to never forget to remind yourself that you mustn’t forget an anniversary. Also known as a
birthday. 

I recently decided to come to the rescue of my good friend Charlie, whose marriage (along with his life) became endangered when he forgot his last wedding anniversary. I knew his wife would kill him if he forgot again this year, so I marked the date on my mental calendar and decided to remind him well in time.

A grateful Charlie thanked me profusely and set off shopping to buy his wife an anniversary gift. Later I called to ask: how did it go? A confused Charlie said to me, “Hmmm. Er. Well. Ok, I guess…” Well, apparently this was his wife’s reaction when she opened Charlie’s surprise present. “Ooh honey! Thanks for the gift! You gave me exactly what I wanted, to exchange for what I really truly want!” Charlie is still trying to figure that one out…

There is also my dear friend Maddy who’s got it really well worked out when it comes to saving money on his gal’s birthday. He once saw a flower shop, with huge bouquets of overpriced red roses, and a poster that said: ‘Say it with flowers!’

So he did. But emerged with just a single rose. ‘I am a man of few words…’ was his perfectly logical explanation. Clever Maddy, getting away by saving his life, and money too.

And as if mankind didn’t have enough suffering having to remember anniversaries of days when our loved ones were born, married, or divorced (yes, some do wish each other and party on this day too), or re-married in, we have those international anniversaries the whole world is supposed to remember and send gifts and wishes too. Like Women’s Day.

Or Mother’s Day. But my pal Jai should surely be given the award for Diplomacy in Relationships. Prone to memory lapses, he forgot his wife’s birthday again this year — but smoothly talked his way out without becoming dead. “How do you expect me to remember every new birthday, my sweet, when you never ever look a year older?” (A thought here about birthdays: while a man could take a day off on a birthday, a woman usually takes a whole year off.)

Meanwhile, we wish there were more birthdays when we could all legitimately take the day off and enjoy a holiday. Like our nation’s birthday. Like Jesus Christ’s birthday. Or Lord Krishna’s birthday. Or Mahatma Gandhi’s birthday.

This reminds me of the poem I once read, by a poet called Anon, who wrote these rather bemused lines in verse…

“I often pause and wonder

At Fate’s peculiar ways,

As all our famous women & men

Were born on holidays”.

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