JOIN USLockdown more difficult for home-alone single women
The lockdown is a hard time for everyone but some groups struggle more than others. While men across the world are being lauded for taking on household responsibilities now, women continue to receive the short end of the stick. In families that have members that need to be taken care of — children, elderly, or the sick — caring labor falls more heavily on women. While this is the case for women in heterosexual relations, single women face many other struggles.
Journalist and writer Sreemoyee Piu Kundu, who started an online community Status Single, to create a sense of camaraderie among urban middle-class single women says that the lockdown affects women much differently than it does men.
The difference can be seen in the economic, as well as the psychological front, she suggests. As per the data from the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD), Indian women perform nearly six hours of unpaid care work daily. Indian men, on the other hand, spend less than an hour on average doing the same. “Thanks to the lockdown many women are walking the precarious tightrope of working at home while working from home. With children staying at home, their responsibilities have escalated,” she says.
Many single women are in the second phase of their career having made a comeback post a hiatus, death of partner or dissolution of marriage. There are also women who have never married, single mothers and those who have adopted children or conceived through IVF.
“These women are providers and have burnt through their savings during this lockdown. I have been getting calls and emails from many women who are dealing with job loss, zero appraisal or no work and freelancers who have not been receiving payments. Apart from the disruption of their routine, many are unable to meet their therapists physically or get antidepressants and other medications, which aren’t available sans prescription, resulting in breakdowns and anxiety attacks,” she explains.
The psychological impact of the coronavirus outbreak is worse for women than men as per the research by Esprimi and Richmond Foundation, a mental health organisation. The study carried out among 1,064 individuals showed that 47 per cent of the responders were feeling depressed and 48 per cent of them often experienced a sense of apathy. Women, the study suggested, were more likely to have such feelings, with a fourth of the female respondents saying they felt depressed all the time.
“Even if the person has kids, or lives with their parents, siblings or a roommate, she is on her own for the most part and this emotional void is more gaping in crisis moments like this. Besides all this, balancing between the role of a caregiver, working woman, mother, all while managing household chores, can be very daunting,” she adds.
No support system
Supriya Jain, mother to 19-month-old Aditya, says that with the lockdown her support system has fallen apart. “Since my son is a toddler, he needs to be watched at all times. He used to go to a daycare, which gave me three or more hours to focus on work. Now, I work between 10 pm to 3 am. I have a nanny who can help watch him during the day while I sleep, but I am up by 8 am, because we also have a dog, and I can’t expect her to manage all of this on her own,” she shares.
Financial stress is more prominent than ever, she says. As an independent marketing consultant, she has no steady paycheck and is instead paid for the work she does. However, with the lockdown, most clients have either stopped or paused many projects.
“There is also the craving for the human touch. Sure, I can connect with people virtually, but it is not the same. Besides, you need to have someone you can turn to in emergencies,” she says. With the lockdown, the possibility of having any ‘me-time’ is next to impossible.
However, things get more stressful when your child is more dependant on you than the usual. “Recently, he fell down and cut his lip. It is during these moments that you need someone to help you out. After the whole debacle, he needed more of my time than ever. I was not even able to take a shower in the end,” she shares.
Social distancing not easy
Madhumitha Venkataraman is an experienced HR professional, and the founder of Diversity Dialogues, a collective that works with inclusion in workplaces.
Her experience, she says, shows that women with disabilities face unique challenges during the lockdown. “Social distancing in the first place is much harder, especially for those who need some support to manage daily chores,” she says.
Many who rely on a helper or support system might find it more difficult to access these during the lockdown. “A blind or deaf person or even a person with an orthopaedic disability may find it difficult to buy their groceries or communicate without any support.” The situation is equally hard for queer women, who may have come out to families who have not completely accepted the situation. In such cases, they could experience abuse or violence.
Minority suffers more
Kiara Iyer, a unit marketing and communications manager with the Lalit Ashok Hotel, Bengaluru, moved to the city about five months ago. Apart from being single, being new to the city adds to her struggles. “You know a few people and they are new to you. There is an extra need to be self-sufficient in this situation,” she says.
Minorities, in any country, suffer more because of the issues and stigma that they deal with on a daily basis. “While people who identify with the binary community are facing difficulties as well, those who belong to the trans community have the added mental, physical and social struggles that come with the identity,” she says.
Her company has been very supportive during this time to all the employees, even in providing groceries from their own nurseries to those in need. Her neighbours too, she says, have been open-minded and helpful in these times.
What women want
All is not dire, points out Madhumitha. A Bengaluru-based online group called ‘Volunteers v/s Covid-19’ aims to specifically help people with disabilities. “There are many helplines and groups in place to help out those in need. What people can do on an individual basis is to simply be more mindful. Look out for your neighbours. Maybe there are people with disabilities or elderly people in your locality that need your help,” she adds.
Initiatives such as Caremongers India are extremely helpful in such times, says Supriya. She also suggests that the government should set up a support helpline for emergencies. “The other day, my gas cylinder was leaking. I called the gas agency and their helpline but no one attended the call. The leak stopped when I turned the cylinder off, but how could I feed my child if I couldn’t cook? This could have easily turned out to be a life-threatening situation,” she adds.
While the lockdown is a necessity, the government should have planned better to accommodate the needs of the citizens, says Kiara. “State governments should collaborate with supermarkets to make delivery of grocery more feasible. This will make things easier and reduce the need to step out for many,” she says.
The trans community suffers because of lack of education, empathy, justice and equality. At this time, the biggest struggle that most face is the lack of access to medicines.
“Many within the community are HIV positive. Many are relying on hormone therapy. The government should step in and provide these for free for those in need at least for the next few months,” she says. The government needs to step up and match up to what people and companies are doing for those in need, she adds.
Single status
The online community aims to provide a platform for the urban, middle class, single women in India. Apart from integrating this diverse group, it aims to help women with the three pillars of empowerment, namely, financial guidance, HR and legal counsel and health.
You can join the Status Single community on Facebook, or connect with Sreemoyee Kundu on Facebook so she can add you to their Whatsapp group. They meet regularly over Zoom calls. Kundu is also in the process of putting together Asia’s first summit for single women in Bengaluru.
Who can help
- Caremongers India: 95911 68886
- Kickstart Cabs: They have collaborated with Big Bazaar to deliver groceries to the differently-abled. Simply WhatsApp message your grocery list to 81056 00445.
- Volunteers v/s Covid-19: 90196 63172