JOIN USIn book, Akkai opens up about her transgender life
A prominent transgender activist living in Bengaluru has just published the story of her life.
Akkai Padmashali, 36, says she wanted to challenge the notion that autobiographies are best written late in life.
“Nothing is predictable during the pandemic, right?” she muses.
Akkai had begun the book four years ago, but worked on it intensively in 2020, a year that forced her to stay indoors.
She collaborated with Gowri Vijaykumar, who teaches sexuality and human rights at Brandeis University, USA, and Dominic, professor of Kannada at Bangalore University, to put the book together.
Akkai became aware that she was a woman trapped in a male body when she was eight.
Coming out and changing her gender identity was not easy. In 2012, she underwent a sex reassignment surgery. In 2017, she married a man and adopted a child later.
“My story talks about police violence, sex work and begging, and my activism. In society, everything is structured, stereotyped and boxed, and I challenge that,” she says.
Excerpts from a chat:
How different is your book from the autobiographies of other transgender activists?
Revathi, Manabi Bandyopadhyay, Lakshmi Narayan Tripathi, and Living Smile Vidya have brought out their perspectives in their contexts. My book is an additional contribution to the movement. The decision to get married, the dowry harassment I faced, the discrimination I had to battle when it came to adopting a child, situations where my child’s life and mine were in danger — I have written about all that in the book. Mine was the first transgender registered marriage, and an advocate told me I am also the first transgender person to be divorced. I say in the book that I have the right to marry and divorce.
You have many firsts to your credit. How did it all come about?
Frankly speaking, I am not the first in many respects. I could be the first represented in the media. There are so many people who didn’t get publicly noticed. I decided to bring my struggle to the notice of the larger public for discourse and debate.
The book talks about Hijra culture…
Many people don’t know about Hijra culture. There is so much positivity and inclusivity in it, and at the same time there is violence and discrimination. My next book will talk about the politics of sex, sexuality, and power.
Was the process of writing your book challenging?
The book was a four-year-long process. The pandemic gave us enough time to shape it all together. Over Zoom calls, I shared and Gowri wrote, I shared and Dominic wrote. When you’re sharing your experience of sexual assault, you automatically go back and remember things. Writing a book is not easy. Sometimes you feel happy, and at other times trauma takes over.
Anything you felt you couldn’t put into the book?
It is challenging to recollect the struggles of an entire
lifetime. I have missed out some things but not intentionally.
In translation
Transgender activist Akkai Padmashali’s book, titled ‘Akkai’, is also called ‘Karunegondu Savaalu’ (Challenge to Sympathy). Published by Bahuroopi, it is priced at Rs 300.
The book was released in Kannada on Pride Day, June 28. The English version will be released by Zubaan books by the end of the year. “It will be translated into Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam, Punjabi and Hindi,” says Akkai.