Dealing with grief

Grief from the loss of a near and dear one is to be experienced to be understood fully. Or else the common thoughtless gesture of lip sympathy, even before the raw wound has formed a scab, is encompassed in this sentence, “I understand your loss…but you need to move on.”

It is easier said than done. Temporary partings are themselves painful involving tearful farewells and promises of keeping in touch. So what can be said of a parting with no possibility of a re-union or even a communication whatsoever?

A person, full of energy and positivism, close to one’s heart and a necessary part of one’s routine life is suddenly no longer present. How can this separation be borne? Even the superwoman of the scriptures, Droupadi, broke down seeing the lifeless bodies of her children.

The only possible way to deal with this anguish seems to be to follow Lord Krishna’s words when he says that the soul is eternal and why grieve over a body that is temporary. Again, easier said than done, as the body, with the mind and soul within had been a beautiful package. A package that loved, laughed, advised, encouraged, comforted and afforded good companionship at all times. Is it possible to get over this loss?

Darkness is expelled by light; likewise a loss can only be mitigated by an equivalent gain. The recourse seems to be to fill the mind with Lord Krishna by listening to and reading His stories. When the mind is trained to focus mainly on the Almighty, through any religion, the place for grief for a departed one accordingly lessens.

The mind should then be controlled to recollect the fond memories and not the physical absence as such. Going on tours and interacting with good hearted people will spur one to see the larger picture. Reading current affairs will remind you that the loss of lives, more so of the young, is more commonplace than you think. You will be propelled out of your personal shell of sorrow and be grateful to the Almighty for helping you swim through the deep waters of grief and reach the shore of resilience and calmness.

You are now ready, with the Almighty alongside you, to take on the journey ahead where the destination address is the same for all.