Marriage and kids: Decoding choices of youth

To begin with, parenting has changed dramatically in the world. Today parents are running their families like businesses. Their children may not be interested in such a business in their lives.

Parents eulogise their kids who are doing well in school and demonise those who are not. Although disciplining is a part of parenting, forcefully steering them to succeed in today’s rat race takes a toll on the relationships. It is all about the comradery that the parents seldom develop with their kids.

Parents are ineludible victims of peer pressure. They hope to raise their kids like commercial livestock. Conceiving a baby is a technique, raising a kid is a science, educating youth is a methodology — and true love takes a backstage.

Kids who have gone through this commercialised family upbringing, don’t see value in it. Parents have failed to bring that fun, joy, affection, and happiness to their families.

This primitive family upbringing is affecting the kids and the results are not surprising. They may choose not to get married. If they do get married, they may choose not to have kids who, they believe, would go through the same nightmare that they themselves went through.

This is the reason why our ancestors practised festivities, to bring that fun and frolic in families. Today, parents have turned those festivities into business as well. It’s not uncommon to see families exchanging commercial gifts during festivities rather than mementoes. This gift-giving has turned into a monster destroying the very purpose of these celebrations. What worse blow can you give to a fragile family set-up when the family members start looking at the ‘price tag’ of the gifts rather than the gesture behind it? It hurts a lot. It further divides delicately balanced families.

Our kids have simply lost faith in these artificial relations. They never tasted a true family bonding in their lives. They have experienced abundant ‘commercialised’ love though. True selfless love never brushed them. They have seen their own personalities being measured by their earning potential. They feel the sole purpose in their lives is to win the rat race and become a revenue-generating engine rather than a loved human.

When parents look at their kids as a liability, the kids who grow up with that mindset also look at their parents as a liability when they become old, and the end result is ‘Old Age Home’.

America and other developed countries are facing similar scenarios. In fact, the scene in those countries is much more concerning. They are now looking at India that has thousands of years of fruitful existence as a guiding force. Unfortunately, India is getting westernised, shedding its own rich past.

Has India let go of the charm that it inherited from its medieval past? Have we come too far? Can we go back and relearn the art of raising loving families? Or is it too late?

(The writer is the author of “Rise of the Digital World: An opportunity India cannot afford to miss”)