A fading wedding tradition

The car was filled with kids and there was no space for my father to get in. On request, it seems the tiny tots adjusted themselves to make space for my father to get seated. You see, the occasion was my father’s Mappilai Azhaippu (inviting the bridegroom) ceremony during his marriage, which took place some five decades ago. He can vividly recollect it even today.

“Switch on the ignition and get the car moving.” Saying so, my father had taken out his handkerchief to wipe the sweat profusely pouring from his forehead. “No! There is no ignition, sir, the car will be pushed by four people,” the embarrassed driver had said. Dressed in a full suit on that peak summer day, my father had turned around to see some hefty people, looking totally bemused, trying to push the car to start. As the car moved at a snail’s pace, surrounded by many relatives and a few enthusiasts dancing in front of it, my father had become the centre of attention. My dad fondly recollects this ritual even after 50 years of his marriage.

Mappilai Azhaippu, also known as Jaanavasam, is a South Indian marriage tradition that is slowly fading away. Hearing my father recollect his Jaanavasam on his 50th marriage anniversary, I thought I would share some interesting facts about this custom. It seems, in the olden days, the groom could see the bride only after this ritual.

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The groom was carried around on an elephant or a horse for people to see him, the purpose being that if anyone had any complaint against the groom, an objection could be raised against the marriage. In short, it was as if the groom was put under pre-wedding scrutiny. In time, the elephants and horses gave way; taking the groom in a procession in an open car became the fashion. He was taken from a nearby temple to the Kalyana Mandapam (wedding hall) with pomp and show. It was a must for all relatives, be they on groom’s side or the bride’s, to take part in it. The car would be surrounded by the Nadaswaram band. The elderly ladies on the bride’s side would walk alongside, carrying a plate of Paruppu Thengai (a sweet made of sugar, jaggery, and pulses wrapped in the shape of a cone). They also carried the Thambulam (a plate containing betelnut, coconut, turmeric, fruits, and vermillion powder). The children generally competed for a seat next to the groom to draw the attention of all. The spectacular custom ended with the bride’s father receiving the groom in the wedding hall.

My daughter could not relate to this custom when we tried explaining this ritual to her because she had never been a part of such a marriage procession. I wonder how many children today would be interested in participating in these dying traditions. A point to ponder over, isn’t it?