A whole new gaze

"When the wind blows, gentlemen will cover their eyes,” grandma spoke slowly and firmly. Sleepy little kids wondered why but we were too tired to ask, after a whole day of playing and jumping around, not to mention the huge meals served up lovingly by her. “That’s because lady’s skirts get blown about in the wind and gentlemen, including young boys like you, should look away.” Her stories invariably contained a subtle message and the thing guys in the group nodded obediently before drifting off to sleep.

When I saw a group of labourers ogling at a young girl who was dressed very conservatively and was just passing by, I kind of understand why my parents refused to let me go unaccompanied, especially after evenings. "We stay in the national capital, for god’s sake!” I, a young teenager, had shouted, only to be answered very patiently: "That’s exactly why we don’t want you to go alone!”

A young girl was sitting in an upmarket restaurant wearing the most fashionable clothing. Glowing in youth and beauty, she was the cynosure of all eyes. As I made my way to the restroom, I observed how everything about her was perfect, her makeup, hair, dress… Well, almost. I saw a group of waiters huddled close by, near the restroom, suppressing giggles and trying to maintain a straight face. It was her jeans, which had slipped down, deliberately. I averted my eyes as I hurried back, feeling unhappy about the whole thing, especially as I couldn’t go up and tell her to cover up. I knew that would be given a lecture on how men should learn to control themselves and not ask women to cover up.

“Sunday longer than Monday" was the code word used to earn the attention of fellow girl students when the inner clothes showed from beneath their dresses. It immediately made one conscious and involuntarily pull the dupatta or saree pallu around oneself. It was especially embarrassing to me when as a young teacher, I would be warned by a female student about a strap showing. I would cringe for days, thinking about it. A few years later, showing the strap from beneath the blouse and fabric beneath the lower dress became 'fashionable’, with heroines in many songs showing this.

A recent ad showed a group of young women sitting by the sidewalk and gazing unabashedly at a handsome guy exercising. Another one depicted two famous actors, one eyeing the band of his underpants as it peeps out from his trousers. There was another where she again loses herself in a similar sight. This time, it was a role reversal, a female gaze, instead of a male one. And why not? Women have come a long way… Isn’t it?

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