The importance of trust in our lives

When I was in school, we were taught to speak the truth. Conversely, we were sermonised not to tell lies. As an aside, English teachers taught us that the word “speak” is used with truth, while the word “tell” is applied with a lie. Even at home, much emphasis was laid on the virtue of speaking the truth. This sermon was more preached than practiced. On occasions we heard our own elders telling lies.

Lies told blatantly are termed ‘white’ lies, while unpalatable truth is called bitter. Elders sometimes justified telling white lies rather than speaking the bitter truth, which might hurt someone’s sentiments. On the whole, as children we imbibed that speaking the truth was a virtue. It was part of the value system that we inherited.

As we grew up, this emphasis on speaking the truth started to wane. But at the back of the mind, speaking the truth remained a virtue. Thirty years ago, a colleague of mine went to a North American country to stay there for a couple of months with his kin. When he returned, I asked him about the special things that he observed there. He said that he was impressed the most by the culture of sachchai (truthfulness). He further explained that their truthfulness meant trusting others. People trust each other because speaking the truth is ingrained in them. You are trusted for whatever you are saying. They do not seek proof of statements you make. The emphasis there is on trusting.

I wonder if we were taught to trust others when we were children. Did anybody tell us that trust is a virtue? Seems unlikely as we have grown up to be suspicious of each other. No statement of ours is accepted for official purposes unless backed by documentary proofs. Speaking the truth is undoubtedly a virtue, but an incomplete one if the trait of trusting is missing.

We can easily notice a ‘trust deficit’ in our day-to-day lives. ‘Trust deficit’ is marring the relationships. We are more suspicious than trusting. Distrusting others and not being trusted by others causes avoidable stress in our lives. While trusting is a healthy and positive attribute, a suspicious nature is a debilitating and negative attribute. ‘Trust deficit’ is manifest in official dealings also. You are presumed to be telling a lie until you prove otherwise. The person who trusts others can also be trusted to speak the truth.