The name's the game

Shakespeare who famously declared, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet” in Romeo and Juliet. While his poetic musings on names are all well and good in the world of English romance, had he taken a trip to Tamil Nadu, he might have reconsidered his stance. Shakespeare, meet the land of the Tam-Brahms, where names don’t just smell sweet—they come with a whole story and an extra helping of confusion!

In the South, especially among the Tam-Brahms, there’s a charming family tradition: the eldest son is named after his paternal grandfather, and the second son takes his maternal grandfather’s name. The same goes for daughters. This results in a delightful perpetuation of names from one generation to the next—until you have a gaggle of people with nearly identical names.

I have suffered the burden of carrying a long name for over 75 years! I’ve had my fair share of name-related comedy. Back in 1991, when I applied for a US visa, I filled out the form as “K S Venkatachalam.”
The visa officer wanted me to expand my initials. When I told him that my full name was Kadayam Sankaran Venkatachalam, he commented, “What a long name you have!” Naturally, I told him that it wasn’t my fault—I didn’t pick it. I was too young to protest!

Then, on a trip to Saudi Arabia, I had an unforgettable encounter with Air India. After my flight from Riyadh was delayed, I missed my connection to Dammam. At the Saudia desk, I explained my situation, and they assured me I would be put on the next available flight. They also said they would page my name. I waited… and waited… and waited. No announcement. Panicking, I went to the desk, only to be told they had been paging. It appears that they have been paging me as “Mr Alam,” the last four letters of my name.

But wait, the fun doesn’t stop there! As a Tam-Brahm with a name that defies convention, I also face the challenge of filling out government forms. You see, we don’t have surnames in our culture, which makes for a real treat when applying for Aadhaar or a Pan Card. My Aadhaar card arrived with the name “Venkatachalam Sankaran Kadayam,” while my Pan Card read as “Kadayam Sankaran Venkatachalam.” When I tried to link both on the Income-Tax Department website, the system threw a tantrum and refused to cooperate, claiming that the names didn’t match. My life, it seems, is a bureaucratic comedy of errors.

I came across on a website a person from Hyderabad mentioned his name as Samayamantri Venkata Rama Naga Butchi Anjaneya Satya Krishna Vijay. I wonder what the Bard would have said if this gentleman was engaged to one E Janake Sathya Surya Vijaya Durga Maheshvari. Would rose have smelled as sweet? One wonders!