JOIN USAnxiety on the other end of the leash
The last month saw major upheavals in our lives — I moved into a new city more than 4,000 kilometres from home — leaving behind Pippi and my husband, who is now tasked with all doggy duties. The conversation that’s on top of my mind during our daily calls is about Pippi — did he have his walks and was he a good boy today (he always is, and we love him nevertheless, but I still ask). So far, the reply has been a resounding yes and I am impressed. Of course, it isn’t the first time I am away from home, but it is the longest I have ever been.
As far as I can see, Pippi will be on the topmost agenda for our calls during my time away. It’s not because I don’t trust my husband’s relationship with Pippi, or that he forgets to care for Pippi. In fact, it’s the opposite: they seem to do far better without me! Being away, I have surrendered to the fact that they both hardly seem to miss me — but that’s not to say there’s no separation anxiety. Pippi is not the one bothered though, it’s me!
Statistics show that almost half of the dog owners in the US have separation anxiety when they are away from their furry pals. A simple search on the internet will throw a ton of articles about how one can handle separation anxiety in dogs. But what if it’s present on the other side of the leash?
Unfortunately, not many self-help guides on that! And here’s what separation anxiety looks like to me: a constant worry and lingering questions about what’s going on with our pets. Do they feel abandoned? Are they missing us? Will they still eat, poop and pee without us? Would they remember us when we are back? Worst of all, are they going to be safe and healthy without us around?
I remember I had tears rolling down my eyes the first time we had to leave Pippi behind. Although we were going to be away for ‘only’ three weeks in a faraway country, it felt like forever. Even the regular updates from his thoroughly-vetted boarding place and a first-hand account from my brother did not help.
Learning from pets
Did he ever think of us and miss us? That’s hard to say but the wagging tail and the happiest grin on that face when we were back told me something. Pippi, like most animals, chose to love at the moment. Yes, he whined when we left, but the instinct to survive kicked soon enough that he focused on the next thing around — wooing someone at the boarding.
When I left home a month ago, apparently he looked for me in every corner of the house for the first couple of days, and then moved on to the next best thing: coaxing his dad to give him some frozen treats and a scoop of ice cream to cool off the heat. That’s not to say dogs don’t have separation anxiety: most dogs notice our absence but don’t delve too much into the unknown. Pippi, I’m sure, would not worry about what’s happening to me, if I am okay or if I will ever come back. When I am back though, he does not miss living in that moment — wagging his tail till it almost falls off and being his happiest self!
That’s been my biggest takeaway in tackling my separation anxiety. Instead of worrying about what I miss around me, I ask myself — what would Pippi do if he was here now? I try to live in the moment like him.
Pets are sometimes our life’s anchors, and it’s always rewarding to learn a lesson or two from them — not anthropomorphising but getting to the root of what makes us all social animals. When it comes to coping with separation anxiety, our pets seem to manage it far better than us!
Tailspin is your monthly column on everything that’s heartwarming and annoying about pet parenting.
The writer is a science communicator and mom to Pippi, a five-year-old rescued Indie, who is behind her drive to understand dogs better. She tweets at @RamanSpoorthy