The antidote to bad friends...

Sexi Saheli is a weekly column of answers to questions you never dared to ask. If something is troubling you and there’s not a soul you can speak to, write to Sexi Saheli at [e-mail].

Hi Saheli,
I have a best friend but she is so self-centered. She doesn’t share any of her news but wants all information related to me. I get news related to her from a third party which makes me feel weird and sad. Whenever I need her help, she just backs off. She remembers all my negative qualities and during fights, always blames me. When she is mean, she says she was only joking. I’m tired now and confused. She swears I’m her best friend, but her actions don’t make me feel that way. Is she a good friend?
Ms Good Girl

Hi Ms Good Girl,
There is a saying, ‘False friends are like shadows. They follow you in the sun but leave you in the dark.’ Your friend seems to be like that. I have no idea why you are even calling someone who treats you so badly ‘a friend’. Sometimes poisonous people do come disguised as friends and the antidote for that is to dump her. Remember, bad friends, prevent you from finding good friends.

Dear friend,
I wanted to know whether long-distance relationships work? Honestly, I haven’t met this guy (online mate) but he seems extremely nice and has all the qualities of a perfect man. He’s pretty serious about us … wants to meet me ASAP and marry me. Should I wait for him? Should I put all my best efforts into this relationship? I’m bad at waiting (because of a previous relationship). I keep having negative thoughts. Help!
Amaira

Dear Amaira,
Honestly, there is no black and white answer. It depends on how each love story runs its course. Is yours a marathon or a sprint? Only you know. What is of concern is a man who wants to marry you without having met you. Don’t be like him. Take your time, meet in person and then decide. As for negative thoughts, just keep telling them, ‘so far, so good’.

Hi Saheli,
My boyfriend doesn’t like me drinking when we are in a mixed group. He says men can’t be trusted and I need to be on my guard. Every time, I feel like having a drink, he buys nice wine or beer and we have it at home. It is fun and he says he doesn’t mind when it is just the two of us. Is this normal? I find his behaviour strange.
Wine Lover

Hi Wine Lover,
Your boyfriend seems to be spinning a cocoon around you and you do know what happens inside one, don’t you? His behaviour isn’t strange, it’s controlling. Recognise the signs and decide if you want to drink to his tunes or to yours. Cheers!