Trust your genes

Sexi Saheli is a weekly column of answers to questions you never dared to ask. If something is troubling you and there’s not a soul you can speak to, write to Sexi Saheli at sexisaheli@ deccanherald.co.in.

Hey Saheli,
I have a huge crush on my cousin brother. I wanna let him know about it but I have never gained the courage to. We are like good buddies ... we share everything. He has a girlfriend but that never bothered me in any way. His GF is always nice to me and even he is. But sometimes I feel he takes me for granted! I get annoyed but after some time I just melt coz I am truly in love with him. IDK what to do! Little bit of help pls.
Ishana

Hey Ishana,
Your problem gives brotherly love an entirely different dimension. From what you’ve written, he seems to think of you only as a buddy. Once you tell him you want to progress from cousins to kissing cousins, it’s going to get weird. Especially if he is not interested. Do you want to risk the relationship? I’d say forget about being kissins for now and start fishing for other fish in the sea. You can even ask him for dating advice!

Hi Saheli,
I just learnt that my grandfather had a second wife. He passed away a few months ago. My mother knew about this but she never told me. Now, I discover that there is this whole new branch of the family I never knew existed. I even have half-whatever cousins — I don’t know what to call them. Do you think I should make contact with them? My mother says it’s up to me to decide.
Ava

Hi Ava,
In your pursuit to find a new family don’t hurt the old one. Have a conversation with your mother. Did she feel hurt and betrayed when she knew? What about your grandmother (the one you knew)? What is the emotional cost of this decision for them? Then, make a choice. Also, your ‘new’ family may not welcome you with open arms. Sometimes, the only genes you can trust are the ones you are wearing.

Dear Saheli,
Is numerology true or fake? I like a girl but the numerologist says not to marry her.
Rohith

Dear Rohith,
Your life-path number must be 3 for you to ask this question. Just kidding! For me, a numerical sign from God is winning a lottery ticket
but we all have different belief systems. People trust in various forms of future-telling — astrology, gastromancy, crystal balls, anthropomancy, palmistry, onychomancy, tea-leaves reading, I-Ching, ceromancy, tarot cards … so it really depends on the individual. I’d say, belief is personal. If you believe this girl is the right number, then that is true. If you believe she is the wrong number, then that is also true.