“But of course,” he said expansively after I got through his five secretaries and two security guards. "Mi casa, su casa. I’d like to show you my Spanish hacienda on Kanakapura Road though it is a bit small...it has only twenty bedrooms.”
“I am not interested in the bedrooms. All I want is a decent bath with running water."
"My English Manor House in Whitefield has twenty four bathrooms….twelve are done up in silver and twelve in gold. Solid silver and gold fittings against a black onyx background with gold highlights. The commode is a jeweller’s delight. It is studded with uncut diamonds and mikimoto pearls…"
"Thank you PK," a bit overwhelmed with the idea of a jewel studded commode, "Is there a plain simple bathroom with tiles and maybe a bucket with a plastic mug?"
He thought for a while. “There is. In my French Chateau at Malleswaram, I have this antique bathroom with the mirror Marie Antoinette used before she went to the chopping block. It’s all Carrara marble and temperature controlled. The commode…"
"I know I know. It’s studded with Lous Fifteenth’s jewels. All I want is a decent bath."
He thought for a bit biting his lips. "I should have known. Someone like you would prefer all the hi-tech ‘do das’ in my Italian palace. Let me tell you how it worked. You enter the palace and the concealed sensors sense your body temperature and control the environment. There water temperature is adjusted to your mental thought process. The lighting and the music come on..all tailor-made to your mood of the moment. And the 1200 rainshower spouts follow your movement across the bathroom pulsing to the beat of the music. There is a built in karaoke ..I know that you like to sing in the bath. There is a even a chamber to air-dry….."
“Enough, enough. Now do you or don't you have a plain simple tiled bathroom with a bucket and a plastic mug?”
"Okay,” he said, thinking hard and doing a mental scan of all his properties. “I think there is one in my faux Alaskan Indiranagar. But there is a problem."
What problem?
You have to go easy on the water. I have piped water from Niagara Falls in all my bathrooms. Believe me it is more expensive than oil. The Canadians are skinning me."
"So can I have a real bath in your faux Alaskan igloo this week?"
"Say..isn’t it your birthday this month? Why don't I send across a whole two litre bottle of real imported Niagara Falls water for your birthday? And no. Please don't protest that it is too expensive. Nothing is too expensive for my dear friends. Enjoy. But make it
last till your next birthday.”
