A garb for all reasons

Humour

In the 80s, the nightie revolution swept through South India. The one-piece nightgown or ‘nightie’ completely turned around the life of women, and changed the landscape everywhere. The advantages of the nightie were many — just one article of clothing to wear and wash everyday. And don’t even get me started on the comfort levels. Wearing saris, or even salwar-kameez, in hot weather can be killer. And they come in all colours, fabrics, styles and price ranges known to man. What was not to love?

In fact, the comfort, etc., etc. led the nightie to becoming the preferred costume of many who began to wear it all day long, giving birth to the ‘nightie culture’ that exists even today. You may not see nighties on main thoroughfares, but they are a common sight in residential areas. It is the fave costume of many housewives and some housemaids. Maids sometimes ask for a ‘nice’ nightie, instead of a sari, as festival gifts.

On-the-rise middle-class women adore it too. They wear them when they take their children to school on their Scootys, to transact business in banks, to attend parent-teacher meetings, to go shopping, and for doctor visits. These women add value to these nighties by clever accessorising. In order for these gowns to look ‘more decent’, some women wear towels around their shoulders. The more ‘sophisticated’ wear dupattas, and on cold days, shawls. Some wear their husbands’ shirts over their nighties. More trendy women wear jackets over them. Some friends told me of some devout women who do their pujas in wet nighties. And some go to temples wearing white nighties — another sign of piety.

So, here is an idea. Why not accept and make the nightie the national costume of India?
Nighties could be designed to befit every occasion. Nighties exclusively for daywear could be ‘day-ties’ — in bright colours and patterns. Nighties meant for at-home wear could be ‘in-ties’ and those worn to go out shopping or visiting could be termed ‘out-ies’. Eveningwear and party-wear nighties could be called ‘par-ties’, and could be worn with tasteful high-end accessories such as evening bags and purses, costume jewellery, stoles and scarves, even sexy shoes and pumps. Sober work-clothes for women could be launched under the label ‘execu-ties’. Of course, they would come with matching accessories like a lap-top case, large tote bag and lunch box.

Hate having to wear a messy silk sari to a wedding? No problem! Just slip on your ‘marri-ties’, nighties made of Kancheepuram, Mysore, Benaras, art, pure, tassar, Garwal or printed silk material, and embellished with Swarowski crystals or Baroque beads. Do you live with your in-laws, or are you part of a culture where women have to cover their heads? Don’t worry! Wear ‘hood-ties’ or ‘saas-ties’. Have to go out in the rain? Put on a ‘plas-tie’, with a plastic shell, complete with a hood.

In order to deal with the jealousy of men who feel lost in the positive orgy of women’s comfort clothing, we can also launch ‘man-ties’ — for the man who likes comfort on his own terms. The clothing would have plaids, stripes and such masculine patterns while executive clothing would be made of superior blends of materials with full sleeves for formal and half-sleeves for semi-formal occasions, accessorised to the N-th degree. Traditional wear would of course be ‘vesh-ties’ or ‘dho-ties’. Just think of the comfort level!

Mark my words, folks! This revolution is coming. And when it does, it will sweep every other kind of fashion right off the shelves, with repercussions heard around the world. Then, will I get some commission from the fashion industry for my ideas, I wonder?