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On equal terms

Men are often reluctant to disclose sexual harassment because they fear “social ridicule”. Yes, there is a ‘phenomenon’ called male sexual harassment that is seldom ever spoken about, writes Tanisha Saxena
Last Updated : 23 April 2023, 02:42 IST
Last Updated : 23 April 2023, 02:42 IST

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In a video posted in February, best-selling author and clinical psychologist Dr Jordon B Peterson questioned the notion that men rule society. He added that a significant share of those who are deeply dissatisfied are guys. Men make up the majority of inmates. Men constitute the majority of violent crime victims. Men commit suicide at a higher rate than women. Men tend to perish in wars the most. Where exactly is the supremacy here? What we are doing is using a very small sample of really successful males to represent the entire social system. Nothing even remotely appropriate exists. We could claim that we have started talking about things like how males can also cry and express emotion today. But regrettably, we haven't even begun to address the problems that males in society face. In the United States of America, the first example of male sexual harassment was documented in 1994 when a female supervisor at Domino’s harassed a male manager. The supervisor was sued and the manager received a settlement of about $237,000 as a result. Contrarily, the Sexual Harassment at Workplace Bill in India was only passed in 2012; before that, its restrictions were solely applicable to women and their modesty. In Indian workplaces, men are indeed molested. So why isn’t it even reported, then?

"I not only see female victims but also many men who open up to me during assessment and break down about how they experience humiliation by female bosses and team leaders," says Dr Charan, a psychiatrist from KIMS Hospital in Hyderabad. "I also witness males who are wrongfully charged with dowry harassment and booked under various laws, which harms their reputation, professional aspirations, and employment possibilities. In the case of men from LGBTQIA and minority populations, this is considerably worse. Long-term effects of this include substance abuse disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety disorders, panic attacks, sleep disorders, depressive disorders, sexual disorders, and behavioural problems (such as poor anger management). Men don't come forward for evaluation, assistance, or therapy. We typically presume that sexual harassment solely occurs against women and that men are the harassers. On the surface, a lot of harassment and violence motivated by gender appears to go unreported, and if a guy is a victim, it is almost never recorded. A few years ago, I read something that I don't exactly recall about a man who was injured after being molested by a group of women, and everyone laughed about it by asking, what kind of man gets molested? He seemed to enjoy himself! He might not be a man and maybe gay, etc.," adds Dr Charan.

Look at this scenario objectively and realise the lack of knowledge our culture has regarding gender identity, sexual orientation, and sexual harassment, advises Dr Charan. We are all affected by gender bias and stereotypes. Men are categorised and punished, just like women, if their behaviour deviates from accepted gender norms. Men who would have sobbed at work, for instance, are viewed as less capable than their female counterparts. Men may also be reluctant to choose paternity leave because of the stigma or worry about facing repercussions at work. Stereotypes and societal expectations like this must change if both genders are to succeed at work and at home.

The prevalence of sexual assault and gender-based violence against men is rarely discussed. Male victims of sexual harassment and gender-based violence are also possible, despite the fact that these problems are typically associated with women. Their ability to develop good connections as well as their mental health and well-being may be negatively impacted by this. Men may also encounter significant difficulties when dealing with breakups of relationships, particularly when it comes to questions of support and custody. It is critical that we acknowledge these problems, take action to address them, and seek to build a society in which everyone, regardless of gender, may live without fear of abuse and prejudice. Our understanding of masculinity and what it means to be a man has changed in recent years. New models of masculinity that highlight sensitivity, empathy, and emotional intelligence are emerging as old views of what a man should be — stoic, aggressive, and dominant. This evaluation is essential to building a society in which everyone, regardless of gender, can flourish and be themselves.

Additionally, males who provide care for others may experience prejudice or a lack of support at work, which can have an effect on their ability to earn. In order to build a more fair society for everyone, regardless of gender, it is crucial to address the gender pay gap. We can ensure that everyone is fairly compensated for their work and has the resources they need to support themselves and their families by working to close the income gap, says Pratika Khadelwal, co-founder of Felicity, a Jaipur-based startup that aims to make mental health therapy more accessible to people.

Men's rights advocate and legal expert Shonee Kapoor describes his personal experience: "In 2000, a woman stalked me. There were no laws supporting it at the time, and it deeply disturbed me. I read a few weeks back about a child who requested CWC to register an FIR after he was allegedly sexually assaulted by an elderly woman. He was first denied registration by the police. It's horrifying to see this happen. Older women sexually harass little lads. Society assumes that a man engaging in sexual harassment must be finding it enjoyable. The main reason that crimes against men are not reported is that our law and order system does not adequately accommodate men. Even the Ministry of Women and Child Development, an apex body of the government of India, didn't consider the issues faced by the male child in society.”

According to a 2010 Economic Times-Synovate study of 527 men in several major cities across the nation, 19% of them had experienced sexual harassment at work. Viacom 18 discovered three years later that 43% of male business employees had experienced sexual advances from coworkers. According to the PEW research statistics for 2014, 25% of women and 13% of men between the ages of 18 to 24 have experienced sexual harassment.

Actor Samir Soni explains, "When we talk about gender equality, we mean that everyone should be "equal," but it is a term that is frequently misused in the context of gender, and many people are unaware of its implications. It basically means that everyone in society should have equal opportunity, regardless of gender (although still taking into account caste, creed, sex, etc.). For instance, if a woman wants to join the military, she must be given the chance, but everyone should take the same test. Similarly, there must be parity in the pay scale for men who desire to work in the nursing profession. I don't see ladies going to see women-centric movies or understood why women avoid going to watch a women's cricket match. So, equality only means equality in opportunity and the rest is unfortunately capitalism.”

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Published 22 April 2023, 18:43 IST

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