Roses in December

Recently, I watched a documentary titled, Tell me who I am. It was about a pair of twins, one of whom meets with an accident and loses his memory altogether. It is left to his twin brother to reinstall all that he had lost. He does this willingly, but leaves out certain unpleasant incidents, hoping to save his brother great sorrow. It does not work this way though.

The brother senses that he was hiding something important. Finally, they sit together, talk their hearts out, leaving nothing unsaid. The ghosts of the past are finally laid to rest.

For me, this was a reminder that we humans are only collections of our individual pasts. Understanding who we are depends on paying attention to our history.

However, while the past provides us with stability, it can also prevent us from adapting to new circumstances.

Our past experiences shape our thinking, but brooding over past traumas benefits no one. They promote negativity and encourage us to regard the world as inimical. Sooner than later, this proves true for no one wants to associate with a person who is suspicious and critical.

If we care to reflect a little, we will realize that it is by our own choice that we allow others control our emotions. The moment we let someone anger us, we have decided to make him or her the object of our attention. We become preoccupied with what was done or said and our ability to pay attention to happier things deserts us. Our power to think creatively is destroyed.  

If we want to be free and in charge of our growth, we must decide to learn from the past and ignore influences that hinder us from enjoying the present. Past cruelties can be powerful but consciously taking possession of our history means freeing ourselves from the bondage of the past.

There is nothing we can do to change the past, but letting go through deliberate choice makes all the difference between a miserable life and one that is joyous.

Too many of us live half-lives and find only half-joys because we fail to give up the past for a fuller present. Release the unhappy past. By letting go, we are able to “gather roses in December!”.