Aspect of mystery in marriage

Sometimes marriages fail because the partners have failed to accept the mystery of their married life.

Just when one thinks that I know all about my partner, something happens that seems to upset the rhythm of their lives.

They wonder how it is now we are unable to understand one another whereas formerly, when we were in love we understood one another perfectly or so we thought! But now all that is shattered.

Every person is a mystery which cannot be broken into. However much I try to explain myself to others, I would not succeed in explaining myself completely to another.
There is in each one of us a core which only God can know.

He reads the hearts. The prophet Samuel thought that the eldest son of Jesse must be the chosen new king since he appeared to be tall and strapping but God told the prophet: “…the Lord sees not as man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (I Sam 16.7).

The Psalmist also confesses that God’s knowledge is far superior: “O Lord, thou hast searched me and know me! Thou know when I sit down and when I rise up; thou discern my thoughts from afar” (Ps 139.1).

Job also finds that while he cannot know God’s ways, God knows all his thoughts “he knows the way that I take” (Job 23.10). When the followers of Jesus were trying to find a successor they pray: “Lord, who know the hearts of all men…” (Acts 1.24). Though God knows us through and through, he will not force us to do anything. He respects our freedom because he has created us as inviolable, unique persons. He would persuade, plead but never force.

He will not force himself into any one of us, having created us with intelligence and free will. Similarly a happy marriage will continue to be happy when both the partners learn to accept that they are persons and also that they need certain amount of space for themselves to be what they are.

Their inner space needs to be respected. It is well known that even in the most intimate and well balanced partners there are moments when they would find that he does not understand her or she does not and is being unreasonable. It is at this time we need to respect that individuality and space to be alone.

It is the very mystery of a person that needs to be respected and honoured.

When this is present their marriage will survive and last their whole life time. There are also moments when we would find that we do not understand ourselves.

After a deed is done and we are ashamed of it we wonder how is it that we came to do such a thing.

We thought we were never capable of doing such things. Again this is part of understanding the mystery that every person is.

 Such an attitude will enable us to overlook the faults of others and also enable us not to be hard on ourselves. We become more realistic.