The 5th edition of the ‘Golden Kela’ awards announced the “worst in Bollywood” at India Habitat Centre, recently. And guess what? Most of this year’s winners were the top grossers of the Hindi film industry!

Jatin Varma, founder, ‘Golden Kela’ awards, said: “Over the last five years, we have lost our minds and our money going to cinema halls and watching some really bad movies. That makes us wonder, why do filmmakers spend their money on such films. We believe we must open their eyes to their bad work and give cinema-goers the satisfaction of vengeance. More power to the ‘Golden Kela’ awards!” 

The top honour went to Ajay Devgn for Son Of Sardar and Bol Bachchan. Sonakshi Sinha won the Worst Actress not “for just one movie in particular, but because she was terrible at everything she did.” Shirish Kunder’s Joker took home two biggies of the night -- Worst Film and Worst Director.

Dabangg 2 was declared Worst Sequel, and voters conferred the Bawra Ho Gaya Hai Ke award on themselves — the Indian moviegoer — for obvious reasons. The award for Most Irritating Song went to Chinta Ta Chita Chita (Rowdy Rathore) and Anvita Dutt won the award for Most Atrocious Lyrics for Ishq Wala Love (Student of the Year) for failing to produce a ‘sense wala’ song. The sporting lyricist attended the ceremony and accepted her award, saying “Shekhar told me I’d definitely win an award for this song. How true!” Keeping in mind his several failed ‘attempts’ at acting, voters chose Jackky Bhagnani for the ‘Why are you still trying?’ award.

Like every year, there were some special awards. Director Shirish Kunder won the Beta, tumse na ho payega award, while the Bhatt Family won the Bas kijiye bahut ho gaya award. The ‘Super Hit of 2012’ went to Shah Rukh Khan for pummeling Shirish Kunder. 

The good stuff

The ‘Anti-Kela’ awards went to four “outstanding” films. Paan Singh Tomar was honoured for “reminding movie-goers why they always (secretly) love the dacoit more than the hero”, and Gangs of Wasseypur for “reminding the viewer that saala Hindustan mein jab tak cinema hai, log ******* bante rahenge!” Kahaani got an ‘Anti-Kela’ for “showing that a film doesn’t need a ‘hero’ to become a hit”, and Vicky Donor for “proving that one can make a ‘family comedy’ about sperm donation and reminding the ‘Golden Kela’ team why they once liked Anu Kapoor”.