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Pool in some pure platonic passion

Last Updated 13 September 2013, 16:17 IST

Love, as everybody agrees, is the highest power in the world. It can work miracles in the life of a man or woman like nothing else can.

The most exciting love of our lives is however the one that brings the magic of romance and passion into our lives. Being loved and cherished by our significant other has a special place in all our lives.

Young people are easily carried away by the beauty of the body and the sensual passion of love that it spells, rather than the trust and loyalty that the heart and mind can cherish. While sensuality is certainly a binding factor in romantic relationships, a lasting and rewarding relationship is built upon nurturing platonic intimacy. It is loyalty, trust and goodwill that make the founding pillars of all relationships, even romantic ones.

In the absence of these, a relationship can crumble and it’s no wonder that an increasing number of romances and marriages fail in a short span of time.

Here are some tips on making romantic relationship lasting and rewarding:

No monopoly

Remember yours is not the only relationship your partner has to respect. (S)he has parents, siblings, family, friends, colleagues and a host of acquaintances who need his/her time. Life today is a miasma of many formal and informal relationships which need fulfillment and all have their places in our lives. Monopolizing your partner’s time and attention is a no-no.

Trust and trustworthy

In a romantic relationship – not the FWB (friends with benefits) variety – fidelity and trust are fundamental requirements. Trust each other and be sure to deserve the trust in return. With the busy-buzzy social and workplace lifestyles common today, you cannot afford to spend time in doubting or distrusting your partner, nor can you make your partner jealous all the time. Quarrels over cheating can mean disaster for a relationship. As it is, the time couples can find for enjoyment or peaceful conversations is diminishing. Arguments cause stress, which kills romance.

Close friend

Be a ‘close friend’ of your partner in the true sense, rather than just a romantic partner. This means co-operating with him/her in his/her work, his/her need to excel for success and a higher income, his/her travel schedule and his/her commitment to family and friends. Keep confidences and never betray your partner. Just like a close friend, remember that secrets given to you in trust should never be revealed. Create such a strong bond that you can talk or confide in each other on any subject without hesitation and seek guidance, co-operation, and solace within each other. Stand up for each other and for each other’s family when needed.

Not competitors

You do not need to compete with your partner – you are one unit. Don’t cut-in the midst of a conversation and show impatience, or that you already know what he/she is going to say or that you know ‘even better’. This kind of daily ‘competition’ is stressful and can send your partner into silence or sulking. Take a serious interest in each other’s growth as a person, wealth builder, and career person. Encourage progress and growth. Avoid constant criticism, lecturing or patronizing. Avoid aggressive stances and ‘I told you so’ phrases. When things seem to go wrong, use your sense of humour to calm down the situation. Laugh with your partner – never at him/her!

Share and care

Accept that differences in nature or attitudes are common to all. So simply share as many interests and hobbies as possible with your partner. Indulging together in music, theatre, films, travel, and other such activities are consolidating factors in a relationship. They connect both of you like nothing else can. Love and romance are not simply about sexual passion and fulfillment. Sharing of laughter, wisdom, and liveliness are just as important in your love life. So, try and build compatibility of taste, way of life, ideals, and concepts.

Be goodie good

Forgiveness, compassion and hard work are the bedrock of love. Holding little offences against him/her creates a constant humiliation which can make cracks in the core of your relationship. Be compassionate and understand each others point of view without shouting the other down. Peace and quiet are necessary for your relationship to become rich and rewarding. Make sure you spend quality time with each other to build a silent harmony. Appreciate the good things – good taste, good looks, wit, sense of humour. Kindness and gentleness are heavenly gifts. Be aware of these and a hundred smaller goodies that make life more pleasant and happy for the two of you.

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(Published 13 September 2013, 16:17 IST)

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