Grow through grey-hair years

Dealing with midlife crisis is no big deal when you have a positive approach, reckons Shaili Dhagat

crisis is what hits a person in the age-group of thirty five and fifty. It is quite a demon within that smirks gleefully as we stand gazing at the twentieth strand of white hair that has sprouted out of nowhere! No doubt this psychological turning point has its origin in physiological and biological changes manifesting themselves within our body.

The slowing down of bodily reactions due to hormonal secretions trigger off various new emotions, feelings, and transformations.

For women, the midlife crisis is linked to menopause and its related ramifications like stress, depression, lack of confidence, and boredom. Many women might begin wondering if their husbands still find them attractive. In men, the more serious effects might be cushioned by their stronger immune system. The taste of worldly desires might become more important than family and children.

Cheryl is a successful marketing executive in a private company. She is married, has two grown up children. She and her husband earn well and she has become a role model for many of her juniors.

Yet Cheryl feels there is something lacking in her life. She says, “I don’t know why but often I feel stressed up and panic over small issues. I even joined a course of Art Of Living but that did not help me for long. I set up targets and when I fail to achieve them, I start worrying. I am forty two and feel that time is running out! On my friends advice I even started reading lots of books on positive thinking.”

Similar story, albeit with an enlightened approach, seems to be following in the life of Kiran Rao, a teacher in a public school.

“Well, it is logical to feel a little funny at this stage of life,” says she. “Childhood, student life, and youth had their aims and dreams. We all had certain targets and plans for the future. But once you have achieved all of those you have nothing much to look forward to. I guess it is just a case of the journey is more beautiful than the actual destination. With this after-thought, I have taken up a few hobbies to keep my life interesting and meaningful.”

It is a common situation that comes in everybody’s life and is widely known as ‘midlife crisis’. Until a few years ago, this stage of life was not even recognized! Psychologists and experts feel that midlife crisis is certainly no situation to panic. It comes in the natural course of time. In some individuals it does not create any serious problems except probably an occasional depression or irritation. But in some individuals it might mean harping over negative feelings, many times looking for romance outside of their marriage, becoming too materialistic, behaving irrationally or unreasonably.

Vichitra Anand Dargan, a city based counsellor says, “One factor that adds to midlife crisis is the conflicting demands made by aged and ailing parents on one hand and children on the threshold of a career. The individual who is already bogged down by demands of career and personal relationships as well as suffering from self-doubt due to appearance of wrinkles, pot-bellies and grey hair, finds it difficult to deal with so much at the same time.”

Midlife crisis is an important stage in life that needs to be handled with care. On a more positive note, it is time to mature, to reach out to people, to slow down, to be kind, to comfort, and to console.

Be cheerful, smile more often, and take things lightly. Lighten yourself and make your world beautiful. Midlife can actually be very liberating and enjoyable when taken with a positive attitude.

Here’s how to beat this crisis:
n  Look at life with a little bit of humour and do not forget to count your blessings!
n  Don’t make unreasonable demands of yourself or others.  
n  Pick up a few healthy hobbies if possible or take up a social cause.  
n  Pick up a sport of your choice like tennis or badminton at a local club nearby.
n  Join yoga classes or a gym or go for long walks in the evenings with your spouse.
n  Try to make friends of your own age group.
n  Maintain a positive outlook to life in general.