<p>Dear Madam,<br /><br /> I finished my PUC in 2013 and secured 87%. Till I completed my 10th I was very sure that I wanted to take up science. When I joined PUC in science stream, I got totally confused whether I wanted to do MBBS or engineering. I lost interest in studies and was totally unaware of the consequences about my negligence. As a result, I didn't get a good rank in CET. My rank was around 5,000 and I was unable to get an MBBS seat. Then I had to be satisfied with the dental stream. But I wasn't happy. As I belonged from a middle class family I couldn't go for a management seat. I'm confused about what I want to do. I feel very low and am not able to focus on dentistry. I feel like I don't have a passion and that irritates me. I want to enjoy my field and feel happy to work in it, but till now I couldn't recognize what it is. After speaking to my father I feel I can be a good doctor. Now I feel guilty about my behaviour. Please help me. I cannot change my past but at least I can make a better future. Can you please tell me the scope of dentistry and can I be an oral cancer surgeon as I have an interest in being a cancer surgeon. <br /><br /> Ashwini<br /><br />Dear Ashwini<br /><br />I am not a career counsellor, nor am I an expert on various professions and their prospects. However, I am pleased to see that you want to enjoy the field you are in and want to do something you are passionate about. It is very important, since we spend so many of our waking hours at work, that we enjoy our work. And I am happy to see that you are trying to do something you enjoy, even if it means losing a year in the process. You are right, one year lost at this time, is not so critical, if it allows you to move to an area of interest. You say you feel guilty about it. I am not sure what behaviour are you guilty about? If you are guilty that you ‘wasted’ a year, I would say that you need to put that year into the perspective of your whole life. If that year allowed you to discover what you like, or at least conclude what you don’t like, it is well-spent, compared to a lifetime of misery and drudgery.All the best.<br />Dear Madam,I am doing a Diploma in Automobile Engineering in an aided institution and I’m interested in doing BE in it. How do I prepare myself for it? And what aggregate should I maintain? I presently have an average of about 70 and no back logs. I completed the 2nd semester and am waiting for the results of the 1st year. Apart from it I have some sort of self-irritating things going on in my mind! I do go for a jog every day but no changes. I become an easy prey to that unwanted thinking. How do I get rid of it? I’m very optimistic about my career. Please help me.<br /><br />Suhas N S<br /><br />Dear Suhas<br /><br />I am not the best person to answer your questions about what course you should do and what is the best route to get there. However, you say you have some sort of irritating thoughts that come to you which you want to get rid off. You are not alone in getting unwanted thoughts. All of us get thousands of thoughts every day. They come, and they go. Some linger on longer than others, depending on how much attention we pay to them. The moment we say that I don’t want that thought, the thought tends to become stronger, and stay longer, because of the attention you are giving it. As an exercise, if I tell you not to think about a pink elephant, you will realize that you will only think about a pink elephant. However, if I don’t say anything, you may never think of a pink elephant.So don’t get anxious about how to stop your unwanted thinking, because that anxiety is just what prevents that thought from going away. Don’t think of those thoughts as you’re enemies that you must stop, no matter what. Instead think of them as friends that can come and go as they please. You don’t need to give them permission to enter, or to leave! See if this works for you, otherwise seek the help of a counsellor who can work with you on dealing with your Automatic Negative Thoughts (also called ANTs).All the best.<br /><br />Dear Madam<br /><br />I am an above average student and I scored 86% in my 2nd PUC exams. Unfortunately I didn't get a decent rank in CET engineering. I didn't get my desired college and course. I waited till the last round of online counselling where we have to give our priority list of colleges and course. I finally got industrial engineering and management in a fairly good college owing to my category. I want to know: 1) the scope of the course 2) would it have been better for me to wait and write CET in the next year 3) there is a possibility that if I can score good marks in 1st year I can get my course changed, but the problem is I have lost hope as my elder brother and sister are studying MBBS and I think I have disappointed my family so I am not confident. 4) how can I bounce back to my good old attitude?<br /><br />A student<br /><br />Dear student<br /><br />I don’t know anything about which course is good for you, and whether it would have been better for you to appear for the exam again. All I know is that, your brother and sister have to make their own life, doing what they like, and you have to make your own like, doing what you like. You do not choose a career for the happiness of your family (i.e. parents and siblings) but for your own personal happiness, well-being, and sense of fulfilment. As soon as you realise that this is something you do for yourself, and not for others you will stop feeling so pressured by it, and you will be able to live your life again. In the meantime, if this task is becoming too overwhelming, seek the help of a counsellor, either personally in a face-to-face session, or by calling the Parivarthan counselling helpline at 080-65333323 where a counsellor will help you with your challenges in a safe, confidential manner.</p>
<p>Dear Madam,<br /><br /> I finished my PUC in 2013 and secured 87%. Till I completed my 10th I was very sure that I wanted to take up science. When I joined PUC in science stream, I got totally confused whether I wanted to do MBBS or engineering. I lost interest in studies and was totally unaware of the consequences about my negligence. As a result, I didn't get a good rank in CET. My rank was around 5,000 and I was unable to get an MBBS seat. Then I had to be satisfied with the dental stream. But I wasn't happy. As I belonged from a middle class family I couldn't go for a management seat. I'm confused about what I want to do. I feel very low and am not able to focus on dentistry. I feel like I don't have a passion and that irritates me. I want to enjoy my field and feel happy to work in it, but till now I couldn't recognize what it is. After speaking to my father I feel I can be a good doctor. Now I feel guilty about my behaviour. Please help me. I cannot change my past but at least I can make a better future. Can you please tell me the scope of dentistry and can I be an oral cancer surgeon as I have an interest in being a cancer surgeon. <br /><br /> Ashwini<br /><br />Dear Ashwini<br /><br />I am not a career counsellor, nor am I an expert on various professions and their prospects. However, I am pleased to see that you want to enjoy the field you are in and want to do something you are passionate about. It is very important, since we spend so many of our waking hours at work, that we enjoy our work. And I am happy to see that you are trying to do something you enjoy, even if it means losing a year in the process. You are right, one year lost at this time, is not so critical, if it allows you to move to an area of interest. You say you feel guilty about it. I am not sure what behaviour are you guilty about? If you are guilty that you ‘wasted’ a year, I would say that you need to put that year into the perspective of your whole life. If that year allowed you to discover what you like, or at least conclude what you don’t like, it is well-spent, compared to a lifetime of misery and drudgery.All the best.<br />Dear Madam,I am doing a Diploma in Automobile Engineering in an aided institution and I’m interested in doing BE in it. How do I prepare myself for it? And what aggregate should I maintain? I presently have an average of about 70 and no back logs. I completed the 2nd semester and am waiting for the results of the 1st year. Apart from it I have some sort of self-irritating things going on in my mind! I do go for a jog every day but no changes. I become an easy prey to that unwanted thinking. How do I get rid of it? I’m very optimistic about my career. Please help me.<br /><br />Suhas N S<br /><br />Dear Suhas<br /><br />I am not the best person to answer your questions about what course you should do and what is the best route to get there. However, you say you have some sort of irritating thoughts that come to you which you want to get rid off. You are not alone in getting unwanted thoughts. All of us get thousands of thoughts every day. They come, and they go. Some linger on longer than others, depending on how much attention we pay to them. The moment we say that I don’t want that thought, the thought tends to become stronger, and stay longer, because of the attention you are giving it. As an exercise, if I tell you not to think about a pink elephant, you will realize that you will only think about a pink elephant. However, if I don’t say anything, you may never think of a pink elephant.So don’t get anxious about how to stop your unwanted thinking, because that anxiety is just what prevents that thought from going away. Don’t think of those thoughts as you’re enemies that you must stop, no matter what. Instead think of them as friends that can come and go as they please. You don’t need to give them permission to enter, or to leave! See if this works for you, otherwise seek the help of a counsellor who can work with you on dealing with your Automatic Negative Thoughts (also called ANTs).All the best.<br /><br />Dear Madam<br /><br />I am an above average student and I scored 86% in my 2nd PUC exams. Unfortunately I didn't get a decent rank in CET engineering. I didn't get my desired college and course. I waited till the last round of online counselling where we have to give our priority list of colleges and course. I finally got industrial engineering and management in a fairly good college owing to my category. I want to know: 1) the scope of the course 2) would it have been better for me to wait and write CET in the next year 3) there is a possibility that if I can score good marks in 1st year I can get my course changed, but the problem is I have lost hope as my elder brother and sister are studying MBBS and I think I have disappointed my family so I am not confident. 4) how can I bounce back to my good old attitude?<br /><br />A student<br /><br />Dear student<br /><br />I don’t know anything about which course is good for you, and whether it would have been better for you to appear for the exam again. All I know is that, your brother and sister have to make their own life, doing what they like, and you have to make your own like, doing what you like. You do not choose a career for the happiness of your family (i.e. parents and siblings) but for your own personal happiness, well-being, and sense of fulfilment. As soon as you realise that this is something you do for yourself, and not for others you will stop feeling so pressured by it, and you will be able to live your life again. In the meantime, if this task is becoming too overwhelming, seek the help of a counsellor, either personally in a face-to-face session, or by calling the Parivarthan counselling helpline at 080-65333323 where a counsellor will help you with your challenges in a safe, confidential manner.</p>
