Where are the social manners?

Basic etiquette

Whether it’s in a plane, a plush air conditioned office or even in a common gathering, you find  most people barking into the instrument, oblivious to the fact that they sound jarring to the others.

Both the well-heeled and those not so stylish are the same when it comes to mobile mannerisms. So what’s the difference? One wonders whether all that education and sensitisation have really paid off?

Talking loudly on the phone, without being conscious about the surroundings is also a reflection of deeper psychological problems like attention-seeking. There are people who believe they need to holler into their instruments to announce to the world that they have arrived.

Metrolife spoke to a few people across all age groups to understand how breach of mobile etiquette affects the surroundings. Psychologists though attribute this behaviour directly to attention seeking and an obsession for fancy gadgets.

Vandana Marol, an architect, who runs her own firm has observed that people talk in any volume unmindful of the situation they’re in.

“Gone are days when people would either ignore a call or even politely decline receiving a call when they’re in company. You often hear people talking loudly about their private life. I don’t know if people have lost their sense of privacy or if they’re careless of other’s feelings,” says Vandana. She also feels that people have become ‘too accepting’ and don’t raise any objection even if they’re in such a situation.

 Gowri Om, a student, observes that the definition of etiquette has changed with respect to mobile phones. “The phone you have, how often you are called and text defines how proactive you are,” she says. Gowri also feels the line of privacy is now an age old concept, “I am not against cellphones, there are times when it cannot be avoided. But I also believe that what to avoid and what not to avoid has to be dealt with responsibly, so as to not assassinate your ethics.” 

Rishi Shroff, another student, points out that use of cellphones in public places raises important questions of modern day etiquette. “As new technology emerges, society is forced to make new rules as it goes along. I think the use of cellphones must not be permitted on aircraft or trains simply because there can be no effective method to check its misuse. One must respect the sentiments of fellow travellers which unfortunately is not the case today,” said Rishi.

Dr Preeti Patil, a psychiatrist with Narayana Hrudayalaya observes that a lot of young people have become materialistic and are exposed to a lot of fancy gadgets. “People like to draw a lot of attention either to themselves or to the clothes they’re wearing.

Self-glorification has become a common problem. So talking loudly on the cellphone is directly related to one such problem,” reasons Preeti.

She further points out that people lack in social manners which is directly related to exposure and that in turn in raises the question of good upbringing and an equally good education.