A Russian adventure

I was part of the Indian delegation to Russia at an International Labour Organisation conference. The Aeroflot flight was very late. It was loaded strangely with half of the sitting area filled with all sorts of cargo. When food was served, one of the Indian travellers demanded more and more vodka and misbehaved. In the end he caught hold of the burly air hostess. She withdrew a couple of feet and lurched forward to give him a good thrashing which kept him quiet throughout the trip — an instance of instant Russian justice.

We were received royally at Moscow airport. The USSR took it as a matter of prestige and recognition of glasnost that an ILO meeting was being held for first time in Russia. We were put up in the best hotels. The conference and the connected meetings were all longwinded and never reached decisions. However, the receptions and parties were fabulous. Russians are heavy eaters and drinkers. Mountains of fish and meat and gallons of the best of drinks were the feature of all parties, especially the dinners which lasted in the wee hours. The next day we got finished with dinner by about 02:30 AM. Soon after I went to bed, there was a firm knock on my door. I was quite upset as it was rumoured that Russian police and the KGB would enter the rooms of important foreign visitors and try extracting information required by the Soviet state using questionable methods. The knocks persisted. I opened the door and promptly entered two enchanting beauties. They went to my bed and sat there repeating in broken English, “two misses, ten dollars.” Though it was a very strange offer early in the morning, it was also an offer very difficult to refuse, considering the beauty of the girls and the cost mentioned. But sanity returned to me and I told them to leave the room instead of troubling me. But they refused and sat firm. I finally told them I would summon the KGB, as we were all given an emergency number in case of any trouble. The moment I mentioned KGB, they left without uttering a word. I was naturally relieved, but there remained in some corner of my heart a lingering sense of loss of a golden opportunity.

My friends laughed at the nocturnal adventure, saying I myself might have arranged the visit earlier in the day but backed out due to fear. However, after a couple days, the same beauties entered our leader’s room. He was a venerable old Communist, more than 75 years old. He reported the matter, and the trouble ended. To this day, I cannot reckon if KGB planted those girls.