<p class="bodytext">Most of us have, at sometime or other, said, “I wish that person would change his behaviour” or “I wish I could make that person change”. It may be a husband about his wife or vice versa, a parent about his or her child, a mother -in-law about the daughter-in-law or vice versa, a worker about his or her boss – the list is endless. </p>.<p class="bodytext">Leo Tolstoy had wisely said, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself”. We want people to change for us. The husband wants the nagging wife to change , but it may just be that she wants a little attention, an adamant child may just be wanting to be heard, a demanding parent may just be a concerned parent, a workaholic boss may just be a lonely or insecure person. </p>.<p class="bodytext">A girl was once complaining about her guru – that she was so obsessed that her daughter should succeed as a dancer that she would be rude and uncooperative with any other students who she thought were a threat to the daughter. The result was that senior students who aspired to do solo performances began to move to other gurus. The girl in question also aspired to become a solo dancer but was struggling to get support from the guru. I asked her why she still remained with the same guru and did not move elsewhere like the other students. She said that as a guru she was excellent and dedicated. I met the same girl a couple of years later. By then she had evolved as a fairly successful solo performer. And she was still learning from the same guru. I asked her how she managed it and she responded, “Initially I thought I could change the guru’s attitude towards me to encourage me in my quest as a solo dancer. But she was being difficult and unsupportive. I thought of leaving but I realised she was a wonderful guru. So, instead of looking for her support, I did some homework, used my own communicative skills, connected with organisers and slowly began to get programmes. So, now I am a successful dancer and still learning from the same guru.” The girl had changed her own mindset and attitude and that helped her succeed in her aspirations.</p>.<p class="bodytext">So, to quote Rumi, the 13th century Persian poet, theologian and sufi mystic, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself”.</p>
<p class="bodytext">Most of us have, at sometime or other, said, “I wish that person would change his behaviour” or “I wish I could make that person change”. It may be a husband about his wife or vice versa, a parent about his or her child, a mother -in-law about the daughter-in-law or vice versa, a worker about his or her boss – the list is endless. </p>.<p class="bodytext">Leo Tolstoy had wisely said, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself”. We want people to change for us. The husband wants the nagging wife to change , but it may just be that she wants a little attention, an adamant child may just be wanting to be heard, a demanding parent may just be a concerned parent, a workaholic boss may just be a lonely or insecure person. </p>.<p class="bodytext">A girl was once complaining about her guru – that she was so obsessed that her daughter should succeed as a dancer that she would be rude and uncooperative with any other students who she thought were a threat to the daughter. The result was that senior students who aspired to do solo performances began to move to other gurus. The girl in question also aspired to become a solo dancer but was struggling to get support from the guru. I asked her why she still remained with the same guru and did not move elsewhere like the other students. She said that as a guru she was excellent and dedicated. I met the same girl a couple of years later. By then she had evolved as a fairly successful solo performer. And she was still learning from the same guru. I asked her how she managed it and she responded, “Initially I thought I could change the guru’s attitude towards me to encourage me in my quest as a solo dancer. But she was being difficult and unsupportive. I thought of leaving but I realised she was a wonderful guru. So, instead of looking for her support, I did some homework, used my own communicative skills, connected with organisers and slowly began to get programmes. So, now I am a successful dancer and still learning from the same guru.” The girl had changed her own mindset and attitude and that helped her succeed in her aspirations.</p>.<p class="bodytext">So, to quote Rumi, the 13th century Persian poet, theologian and sufi mystic, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself”.</p>
