Do not use fear as a weapon

Harnessing the fear factor by instilling and inducing dread is never a good thing. Fear like hatred, envy and anger is a negative emotion and sets off in its wake a host of similar, undesirable responses and only delights the devil.

As children guilty of misdemeanours, most of us have been threatened with “Wait till your father comes home.” The message sent out is that the father is a strict disciplinarian (grossly underplaying his loving, caring, providing side - granted that he was undemonstrative for the most part) and you’ve had it as you face the music. Political leaders have often used the “I am resigning and relinquishing all control of the party” scare successfully to silence and bring recalcitrant followers back in line. The threat also arises on account of their own insecurities, and to reinforce themselves that they still call the shots and retain total authority.

It is not uncommon to see elders putting the fear of God to good use. Children eyeing the prasad before it is offered to the Gods are warned that the punishment for such action will result in God poking the sinner’s eyes. Whether the next generation of children are suitably shaken up is a moot point. The threatened can recoil in fear, feel insulted and unloved or be immune to these periodic announcements that they know are empty threats. Worse, they could be scarred for life. By all means, caution, when needed like the fire, is hot, tread cautiously before you trust, karma comes back to haunt and such others. Let statutory warnings be backed by reason and logic, not clouded by emotions.

Recently I read a message on social media asking for help. It was a woman whose conversation was frequently interspersed with thoughts of taking her life. It wasn’t clear whether the husband was driving her to desperation or it was a clear cry for help by a possibly mentally ill wife. Whatever it was, one can only hope the distressed received help and issues were addressed with love and care.

The bottom line is to use love and understanding over intimidation. Things are more likely to have a positive effect in the long run. Fear, on the other hand, can drive the already threatened to do something dire.