Love, longing and belonging

Oasis

Umrao jaan, the 19th century courtesan from Lucknow, hounded by society from pillar to post, rendered homeless, a lone woman belonging nowhere and to nobody, finds herself finally in her birthplace, Faizabad. She arrives broken and wounded at heart at her natal home where her beloved younger brother resides. Standing before him face to face she narrates her story, hoping for his forgiveness and love, his acceptance of their blood relationship. But her brother, a staunch member of the dominant patriarchal setup rejects her pleas and turns her away from
his door.

Night has fallen and Umrao has nowhere to go. As she stands on the street, forlorn and lost, a policeman approaches her and questions her kindly, ‘where do you belong, sister?’ Her answer, stark and truthful, moves the reader to pity. ‘Faisabad was once my home, my birthplace. I no longer belong here or anywhere, (For a passing moment she thinks of the young girl playing hopscotch on the pavement in whom she had seen her own innocent self aeons ago when she had belonged to a loving family.) She answers the policeman. ‘Here where I have put my two feet, this bit of earth is where I belong. That’s all.’

Belonging reduced to the space of one’s two feet. That is all one can lay claim to as Umrao illustrates through her tragic story. Perhaps Tolstoy does better allowing six feet to man’s final claim on earth. Love, longing, belonging in unison signify a person’s search for home that one has lot in one’s encounter with Fate, circumstances. It requires more than mere acquaintance with people; to belong is to receive acceptance, attention and support. Umrao as a fallen woman is denied the home where she was once loved and belonged. Society judges her and brands her an outcast.

Home and the world, ghare bhaire, are the twin choices of a woman and never the twain shall meet. Redemption comes when Umrao realises the truth about herself and is given a second chance in life, so to say. Living in solitude and narrating her own story she goes through a kind of catharsis. Peace, a sense of home coming, and a tragic acceptance of her earthly suffering liberates her at the end. Ultimately, acceptance of the self fulfils the need for love and belonging.