My fairy mirror

Eighteen years ago, I was gifted a fairy mirror. It was delicate and exquisite, fragile but full of character. I felt intimidated by it initially and it looked like the feelings were mutual. One moment, I would fiercely want it just for myself, and the next moment, I wished I never had it in the first place and was ready to give it away. But slowly we warmed up to each other, the mirror and I, and we became almost inseparable.

Day after day, we had our fun, crazy and exasperating moments, all in equal measure. We understood each other like nobody else could, and found we were baring our true souls to each other in the process. It was not pretty all the time, and we realised we could never pretend to each other. Slowly, the mirror started developing its own personality instead of just being my reflection. It did not want to limit its sight just to me. I watched it taking tentative peeks at others around me. It perplexed and hurt me initially. But I realised that it is the prize I had to pay for keeping this gift. I wished to protect it from the harsh world but knew it would be an injustice.

And then to my dismay, I found my fairy mirror not looking at the world like I did. It had its own reflections and interpretations which sometimes upset me. But I realised I was seeing a new world through its eyes; and it opened my vision to a different dimension of things I never knew existed. And I knew that it would always come back to me, and I would be its centre of gravity.

I misjudged its moods often. I was aghast when it, I thought, deliberately tried to be a rebel and not do what was expected. But secretly, I admired how it stayed true to its character at all times. I misunderstood its aloofness at times and kept my distance. But came to understand later how the mirror yearned for my touch, particularly when it was troubled.

I would sometimes become possessive or ignore it. Or be harsh when I felt ignored. In turn, it ensured that I got it all right back. While I seethed on the outside at such moments, I was brimming with pride at its fierce character.

As we battled all these emotions, we both grew to respect each other for who we were rather than treat us as each other’s reflection. There were times when we thought we were each other’s nemesis. But could not deny that we are also redeeming each other. We were actually each other’s conscience keepers.

My fairy mirror has now cast its gaze at a faraway world, a world holding promise of mesmerising sights and reflections I cannot provide. A world I cannot make sense of, but I know to be the future. And as my fairy mirror, my daughter born 18 years ago, sets out for higher studies in another country, in a different culture, I know it is time to let go. After all, my precious daughter is my mirror to the world, a world I cannot otherwise see but through her eyes!