JOIN USConquering with forbearance
Recently spiritual leader Dalai Lama XIV, in his 86th birthday message, reiterated his commitment to serve humanity and protect the climate. He also mentioned his refugee status without any degree of anger and asked everyone to keep the two attributes of compassion and non-violence until death. Like Gautama Buddha, his forbearance is like the Himalayan mountains that remain undisturbed in the face of any number of adversities.
Forbearance is the quality of being patient and being able to forgive someone or control yourself in a difficult situation. The Buddha himself faced many storms of blame and squalls of abuse during his lifetime, but his forbearance remained firm. His loving kindness towards these slanderers knew no bounds. The legend goes that on one occasion when the Buddha was teaching a group of people, a bystander started heckling him. The bystander seemed to be angry about something and his outburst was directed at the Buddha.
The Buddha did not interrupt while the stranger vented his rage. Then he said to the group and to the stranger: “If someone gives a gift to another person, who then chooses to decline it, tell me, who will then own the gift? The giver or the person who refuses to accept the gift?”
“The giver,” said the group after a little thought. “Any fool can see that,” added the angry stranger.
“Then it follows, does it not,” said the Buddha, “whenever a person tries to abuse us or unload their anger on us, we can each choose to decline or to accept the abuse. In other words, whether to make it ours or not. By our personal response to the abuse from another, we can choose who owns and keeps the bad feelings.”
The essence of the Buddha’s teaching is to choose wisely before responding to a situation. All decisions have consequences, for while we can make choices, we can’t choose the results. To quote Mahatma Gandhi: “We should meet abuse by forbearance. Human nature is so constituted that if we take absolutely no notice of anger or abuse, the person indulging in it will soon weary of it and stop”.