The clause of anxiety

The thought of having to teach analysis gave me the jitters.

When I was in school, I was not good at analysis. I could just about pick out the main clause, which would fetch me half a mark or may be a quarter mark. Rather than being thought idiotic, I felt it was safer to leave the question out after writing down the main clause. I felt it was too much trouble for too few marks. But that was before I decided to embark on teaching. The thought of having to teach clause analysis gave me the jitters. Fortunately, I knew a person who was an absolute whiz at analysis. But the trouble was to get her. She was as elusive as will-o'-the-wisp. She also had a finger in several pies. Hunting her down required special skills. And with a superhuman effort, I found her. 

I sounded so pathetic that she decided to calm my fears. She first gave me a pep talk on not allowing things to get the better of me. Then we had a coffee session, during which she managed to instill a certain amount of calm in me. "You mustn't allow anything to frighten you," she advised. And then we got on with the finer details.

She asked, "Can you pick out the main clause?" I answered in the affirmative. "That is half the battle won," she said encouragingly. Then she proceeded to explain how to find and identify the subordinate clauses. She made it all so simple that I found my confidence growing. At the end of the session, I had won over my fear.

At the next session, I was able to tackle the clauses but still needed reassurance. My mentor helped me out. At the third session, I got no help from her. But I got the analysis right. I was pronounced fit to teach analysis. I thanked my mentor profusely. She said it was all in my head, and once I got rid of my fear, I was fine. 

I wondered why I had feared it so much. My mentor told me that it was in my mind. Once I had learned to conquer my fear, everything would work itself out. This was easier said than done. I worked hard on her advice. I found my confidence growing. And I was ready to face the obstacles ahead.

I embarked on my mission with my new-found confidence and a jaunty step, ready to face the challenge. It was then that I learned that there would be no more formal grammar teaching. It would be incidental. Have you ever experienced a flat feeling?