What makes a perfect match?

The institution of marriage is held very high in the minds of the people in the subcontinent to this day. Arranged marriages are still not passé. The fact that even e-portals have matrimonial sites is testimony to this fact. Parents, relatives and well-wishers of the prospective brides and grooms sift and sieve several criteria to find a suitable match for their beloved sons and daughters preferably in their own communities. People often place high stakes on religious, communal, social, economic, educational and familial factors as against essential human values like honesty, broad mindedness, adjustability, good health and clean habits. The intent of the process is definitely not dubious, but the way in which suitors are shortlisted and identified with blinders on leaves a lot of space for social debate.

Perhaps, the parents of eligible bachelors and bachelorettes would do well to take a reference on the subject from the Ramayana.

King Janaka of Mithila knew his daughter Sita was very unique. Therefore, he did not pursue the idea of conducting a Swayamvara. Instead, he decided to conduct a test for her suitors to identify the groom who could pay the Veerya Shulka – by proving his mettle worthy of the accomplished bride. 

Janaka decided to give his daughter in marriage to the person who could string the mighty Shiva Dhanush. It symbolised his faith and conviction in the power and prevalence of lord Shiva’s blessing in his life. He had the bow placed on a huge ornate plank set with wheels. Scores of able bodied servants were employed to drag the makeshift cart to the court of the contest. 

Many scions of royal families who had arrived in Mithila to try their luck were barely able to lift the bow. At that point of time, Rama, the Ikshavaku prince who tried his hand at stringing the bow, broke it in the process. Clearly, he was the most suitable groom for Sita. Janaka was very happy for his daughter.

He was aware that only a man of learning, discipline, integrity, virility and talent could wield the bow. These qualities had to be essentially instrinsic and honed with great perseverance and consistency. A person with
these superlative qualities would seldom fail in his enterprises in life. Therefore, Janaka felt rest assured that his daughter’s life would be secure and blissful if she married Rama.