When office excuses went viral

As stomach ache epidemic spread, our 'late register' became a source of comedy

In our workplace, we had a late register—a lovely little notebook where you had to put down your arrival time and, more importantly, why you were late. Most of us saw it as a formality, a silly procedure to appease our boss, who thought being late was a crime against humanity. He presumably thought tardiness was equivalent to stealing a bank.

One day, one of my colleagues, Rajesh, came an hour late, as nonchalant as a cat that had just knocked over a vase. He boldly typed, “Flat tyre”. What he didn’t understand was that he was about to set off a trend that would spread faster than the workplace infection. The next few stragglers, maybe inspired by Rajesh’s bravery or out of boredom, went a bit creative. Instead of providing detailed justifications, they simply wrote, “Do.” Yes, you read it right, just “do”.

At this point, the late register had transformed into a surrealist art installation. It seemed like a telephone game gone terribly awry. “Do” was the new “I’m late,” and it quickly became the word of the day. 

Then another colleague, Anjali, emerged, holding her tummy tightly as if auditioning for a soap show. “Stomach ache,” she said, drawing compassion from others in the room. Vikram, the next to come, imitated her with the accuracy of a parrot. He wrote, “Stomach ache,” as if afflicted by the late curse. 

Before long, the workplace was crowded with individuals yelling “stomach ache” as if it were the most popular trend of the year. It soon turned into an epidemic! We could practically hear the theme music playing in the background as our late registration became a comical situation. 

By the end of the week, the late register had given us a bard’s account of our collective failings. “Flat tyre, do, do, do, stomach ache, stomach ache, I swear I’m not faking it!”

At this point, even our boss, Mr Sharma, joined in the fun. He grinned as he glanced over the register, exclaiming, “Oh, the dreaded stomach ache! There must be something in the cafeteria’s food. I realised I wasn’t the only one in pain.”

So, the next time you find yourself at an office with a late register, remember this: it’s not only about being on time; it’s the unique and bizarre tales that add to the enjoyment! Who knew a simple notebook could turn into a comedy club? Flat tire, do, do, do, and stomach ache. Welcome to the workplace circus!