Ready to reboot

How are young Indians — who are either still in college or just starting their careers — dealing with a world where everything’s topsy turvy and the new normal is, well, anything but?

Darshan Sheth turned 22 on March 28. “I had a quarantined birthday,” is how he wryly puts it. Sheth, who works in a digital agency as a senior account executive, says life has been a roller coaster ride since then. The pandemic has made him rethink his priorities and, more importantly, made him realise how lucky he really is.

“When the lockdown was announced, I realised we are fortunate, unlike daily wagers and others who were badly hit.” He and his buddies from The Heel Strikers (all avid trekkers in the 19-26 age group), raised money through crowdfunding. “We distributed food packets, fruits, biscuits and sanitisers/masks around the slums of Dombivli. We also fed stray animals twice a day from March 23rd to June 2nd,” he says.

The group faced fear and uncertainty everywhere, every day. “Our parents were scared, especially since there was a news report about a youngster in Ghatkopar, who reportedly died of Covid-19 doing similar work. However, we took every precaution and followed protocols. Our families supported us eventually.” Though their drive ended in June, it was a huge learning experience. “This pandemic has changed me,” he says somberly.

Discovering ‘true’ happiness

Sushmitha Bellam concurs. Usually, the 26-year-old would be juggling her time between Mumbai, her work city, and Raichur, her hometown. Bellam is a freelance creative director/project manager, and currently, part of the post-production team for Tribhanga, a made-for-Netflix film starring Kajol and others. The good news is, she can do her work from Raichur. But, once this project is over, “I don’t know when or how I will get more work,” she says frankly. Going back to Mumbai seems impossible now.

Bellam says this scenario of uncertainty has made her realise that savings and financial security matter. “But, I’ve also decided that my first priority is myself, my happiness. I want to live fully. I’ve been asking myself where am I headed? What will bring me true happiness? That’s my focus now.”

As part of this process, Bellam has used the past few months to learn something new. “I’ve done what I always wanted to do — become a certified career counsellor. Growing up, I had a difficult time figuring out what to do, I always wished I had a mentor. So, this will be my way of helping students recognise their skills and innate talent. Plus, I love doing research and exploring emerging fields. I would love to find out what skills are needed for certain jobs etc., and then use that knowledge to help students,” she adds.

Realising responsibilities

While Bellam has acquired new skills, Ashwin Lobo, on his part, has reconnected with friends and learnt to become more grounded and more responsible. Before the lockdown, Lobo (24) — a native Bengalurean — was on an Environmental Fellowship, which involved stints at Wayanad (Kerala), Tiruvannamalai and the Nilgiris (both in Tamil Nadu). “Life was hectic. I was doing new things every day, changing cities/places every few months, living in crowded communities, etc. The pandemic has changed what I now expect out of life,” he says.

Back in Bengaluru now, Lobo wants to intern with an environmental activist in the city, so that he is around for his parents. “They’ve been worried about me. Also, they are old and in the vulnerable section of the population. This has made me aware of the responsibilities I have towards them,” he says. This phase has also helped him rediscover friendships he had neglected. “With so much time on my hands, I’ve got to reconnect with people I have lost touch with. And since they were also stuck at home, they too were open to conversations. I think I called about 50 different people — I even did a rough count!” he laughs.

The little things

Just how much friends and friendships matter is something college student Aalia Aboushar is very aware of, today. The pandemic has made her realise how badly she misses the little
things. Aboushar (19) is a IInd year BA student at Mount Carmel College in the city. “My friends and I have learnt the importance of meeting each other. We miss going out for a coffee or lunch or just hanging out together. Video chats are simply not the same!” But it’s not that the teen has been moping at home all this while. For, this student is also a teacher.
She teaches piano and vocals (via online classes currently) at a city music school. Her work gives her insights into managing people, which has been very helpful. “My long-term plan is to become a psychologist,” she says.

But, plans can change very suddenly too. That is what 21-year-old Nishi Trivedi now knows. She understands now that plans need to be flexible. Because, when a pandemic happens, nothing is certain anymore. The young Mumbaikar always planned to pursue a career in the media, but the current scenario has made her realise she needs a backup too. “It has made me sit and rearrange my priorities in life, re-look at what I want to do,” she says. So, Trivedi is using this time to learn Korean and take online courses, while she continues to blog and write.

Lessons learnt

All the young people we spoke to, say they have changed in some way or the other. They have learnt things about themselves, their friends and family. And none more so than Darshan Sheth. The pandemic has been an eye-opener for him. “The food distribution drive made me realise how privileged I am. I value everything I took for granted before — food, clothes, a place to stay. Also, life is unpredictable. We need a safety net to fall back on. Earlier, I was like ‘aisi bhi kya emergency aayegi’ (What emergency will I face, really?) and used to spend a lot. Now I know the importance of saving money. I also have a sense of responsibility. This lockdown has been harder because my father is in the clothing business. With shops shut, I became the sole earner for my family, and for the first time ever, understood how difficult it is to run a household.”

The pandemic has been stressful and overwhelming for him at times. “Even now, there is this constant fear and uncertainty over my future. But, I am hoping for the best.” And he is
aware of life’s inequalities. “It’s funny how people say, ‘we are all in the same boat’. That’s not true. We are all in the same storm, but the boats are very different!”

Keep calm and carry on

The stress of the pandemic has led to panic attacks, bouts of anxiety, depression and more, across age groups. So, how are young people dealing with it all? Aalia Aboushar says she and her friends act as their very own support group. "We make sure we are there for each other, especially if one of us is finding it difficult to cope. However, our college has also told us that counsellors are available at any time." That is also reassuring, she says.

Nishi Trivedi listens to podcasts to calm herself down. She has also realised she must not be too hard on herself. "Some days, when I feel under the weather, I make sure to pamper myself with good food and a movie. Sometime, the stress of being productive each day can get too overwhelming," she points out.

Ashwin Lobo, on the other hand, has gone back to meditation, a practice he had almost given up when life was hectic. "When the lockdown was announced, I was stuck in Auroville (Pondicherry) at a friend's house, with nothing to do. Meditation practice has made me more patient and calm. I now realise there are things beyond my control," he adds.

In fact, these youngsters are doing what New Delhi-based counselling psychologist Tanvi Bhandari says is the best way to become friends with oneself. Bhandari is one of the few psychologists using Instagram (her profile is Anchorage Counselling Services) to connect with various age groups, give out helpful tips, put up videos, etc. Bhandari sees the social media platform as a tool to put out positivity into the world.

"The adjectives I hear the most today are "lost, trapped, restless, lethargic, etc.," she says. "A lot of us have lost our sense of purpose. There is also a lot of fear-related anxiety, regarding the spread of the virus. For those who are privileged enough to not have to worry about earning for their next meal, the lockdown is an amazing opportunity for evolution. But, with the loss of distractions, we are having to spend a lot of time with ourselves and many of us are realising we don't like ourselves. Look at this as an excellent opportunity to pick up hobbies and work on self- development — become friends with yourself. Life is so much easier when you become your own best friend," she concludes.