JOIN USWe all lie. Parental pressure, peer pressure, image building, fear of losing somebody, fear of a dear one’s trust, fear of hurting somebody’s emotions are just a few reasons among several why people lie. Some do so out of habit while others do it to make their lives ‘easy.’ Knowingly or unknowingly lying becomes an indispensable part of one’s life and character.
People lie because it has its benefits and works in most cases. However, admitting to a lie is as difficult, as easy it is to lie. It needs courage and strength of character to accept that one has lied and be ready to pay the price. Metrolife talked to youngsters to find out if they had the courage to admit to their lies and got some interesting answers.
Ashish Anand*, a 20-year-old BCA student says there are many factors why one is not able to admit to the lies, but basically it is one’s ego that comes into play. He once admitted to lying but has not been forgiven for it yet. “I lie whenever the situation demands. Once, out of guilt I confessed to having lied to somebody but I wasn’t forgiven. So there is also a risk of losing people’s trust. Therefore, it’s better not to admit,” he says.
There are some who admit but mostly do so, either out of pressure and out of guilt. Each lie strengthens an image that the person wants to perpetuate in front of others. It helps build a false image and then it demands courage to be able to peel off those layers of deceit. Amanpreet Rattan, a 20-year-old student of Hisar University says acceptance of lies means ‘lowering’ your image and ‘character’ in front of the same people who appreciate you.
“I admit only when under pressure and when all the routes to lying further are closed. Confessing means that, that image has been ruined,” he says. “Admitting truth out of pressure or because the lie has been found out does no good to anyone. It only means that lying will be more planned next time,” adds Amanpreet.
Jatin Panchi, a 20-year-old engineering student says he and his friends lie mostly out of parental pressure and never admit to it because it would mean losing their parents’ trust. “It is very rare that I lie other than to my parents and that is because the situation demands so, in view of so many restrictions imposed by them. If I admit to lying, they will never trust me again,” says Jatin, a student of IP University.
Before admitting to falsehood, one has to admit to himself that he has lied and that a lie is a lie - big or small. But there are those who categorise lies in order to undermine the following guilt. The most common category they dump it into is ‘harmless’ lie.
Working as an engineer in an electrical appliances company in Noida, Sukanya Motwane* says she lies only when the truth won’t do any good to the person and the lie won’t hurt either. “Most of my lies are harmless – rather excuses. If the situation demands I have no problem in admitting to lying. I also did, once. For a while, the person I had lied to didn’t take the confession in the right spirit but later acknowledged my courage about not keeping him in the dark.”
Those who admit to lying, seek admiration and in the absence of not receiving appreciation are discouraged about confessing the truth. Ankur Bhardwaj, a professional, says, “If I admit to lying, I would want the other person to at least appreciate my courage. It pains and hurts the ego to admit to one’s mistakes and if that is not admired I don’t care for forgiveness.”
*name changed on request