Legendary ledge

It all began when two friends taunted me over the protruding tummy, comparing it with the legendary ‘Ledge’ at the Lords cricket ground famously exploited by the bowlers to send faster deliveries to startle the batsmen. I realised for the first time that the stomach simply bumped up at the middle section, threatening to rub against any object I might pass by. Damn… yes… It was embarrassing.

“This, you know, is because I have to sit and work for long hours. Can’t step out for gyms. Can’t exercise at odd hours…” Nothing seemed to stop the brats from making fun of the ledge, which, they blamed on the tasty ‘thayir sadham’ (curd rice) and several thousand spoons of ghee that collected over the years in the abdominal region.

Deprived of the ability to check if I could still see the toe standing erect (guess I had to see through the ledge even then), I decided to get on with some serious workouts. Yes, I can’t afford to break my bones wondering what to do standing on a spinning treadmill, but surely there has to be a way out to save the embarrassment of carrying the ledge around…

I began the diet cum exercise with lots of optimism and it certainly made me brisk and light. Day 4: I looked at the ledge and wanted to squash it like a bug. Adrenalin kicked-in and the pace of my push-up became faster. Determined to make the most of the ‘feel-good’ factor, I pressed on with the sit ups increasing the speed as much as possible.

Two weeks into the fitness regime, I felt fantastic. Yes, my body was getting muscular; shoulders were propping up nicely and the chest region showed what faintly appeared like the ‘V’ shape. Probably my time to taunt those poor excuse of friends has come. My servant maid interrupted the scene of me taking on the two goons, flexing the bulging biceps and hitting them out on the edge of the universe… “Sir you look smart”. I smiled.

“But what’s that stomach?... It’s standing out… May be you have to work harder…” There are certain things in life you simply cannot get rid of. Taunting friends, impolite servant maids... And yes, obstinate ledges! “Yes my friends… This is genetic trait. Not one generation of ghee, but I guess several generations of it collecting over the gene that I have inherited.”