Nimhans studies emerging adults' personality hang-ups

Bengaluru: A recent National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (Nimhans) study on emerging adults — those transitioning from adolescence to full adulthood — reveals that anxiety about losing closeness with a best friend has emerged as the strongest predictor of personality vulnerabilities.

These include struggling with controlling emotions, acting impulsively and maintaining stable relationships. 

This anxiety stems from fear of losing connection and can make relationships feel tense and overwhelming. However, if the friendship is stable, it can also provide comfort, stability and growth.

The doctoral research, led by Dr Mehak Sikand, with Dr Poornima Bhola and Dr Meena K S as advisors, sheds light on how our close relationships play a significant role in shaping our mental well-being. It highlights that difficulties in relationships with both parents and best friends can deeply affect one’s personality in how an individual sees themselves, manages their emotions, and connects with others.

While the findings appear to fall in line with the common allegation levelled by several parents— “Your friends are more important than us” — the researchers noted that it should not be understood as parents being ‘dethroned’. Instead, it should be understood as emerging adults reorganising their attachment hierarchies based on their developmental needs.

“It may be natural for them to rely more on friends for certain needs. Best friends may become crucial for sharing feelings, figuring out who they are, and finding support,” study author Dr Mehak Sikand, former researcher at the Department of Clinical Psychology, Nimhans, explained.

“Different relationships may serve different emotional functions: parents may be relied on for stability and identity continuity, and best friends can also offer immediacy, intimacy, and reciprocity,” Dr Sikand added.

The study is based on data collected using an online survey during the Covid-19 pandemic. Respondents included 742 emerging adults (aged 18-25) from English-medium colleges across 23 Indian states, predominantly female (62.94%), single (77.63%), and living in nuclear family structures (69.54%).

Further, the research revealed that when participants reported excessive worry about being close to or rejected by their mother, they were more likely to struggle with making sense of their thoughts and emotions. In contrast, with fathers, it wasn’t worrying about closeness but feeling uncomfortable with emotional closeness linked to personality vulnerabilities.

The researchers explained that the unavailability of fathers in day-to-day emotional care could explain why young adults do not show the same kind of attachment anxiety towards them as they do with their mothers. However, emotionally available and involved fathers can positively influence their children’s ability to trust others, feel secure in themselves, and develop a healthy sense of independence.

“The takeaway here is that strong emotional bonds with parents, where the child feels accepted, supported, and understood, can build the foundation for emotional strength, self-awareness, and healthier relationships later in life,” Dr Bhola, Professor at the Department of Clinical Psychology, Nimhans, said.

The male socialisation pattern was also reflected in another study finding, which showed that males were more likely to feel uncomfortable with emotional closeness with their friends than females. It leaves young men with fewer emotionally secure spaces, potentially contributing to difficulties in seeking help when distressed.

On the other hand, females in the study displayed greater capacity to understand others’ emotions, thoughts and intentions. However, the researchers highlighted that the patterns were not innate, but were induced mainly by culturally and socially established gender norms. Encouraging young men to engage more openly in emotionally meaningful friendships could support healthier emotional development.

The study noted that as young adults transition into adulthood, they require a network of relationships, including secure family bonds and a supportive peer network.

“When young adults feel connected to others and themselves, they grow stronger. The right relationships don’t just comfort; they give courage. And when we surround them with strong, steady, and emotionally responsive networks, we are not just helping them cope, we are helping them thrive,” Dr Sikand said. 

"Different relationships may serve different emotional functions: parents may be relied on for stability and identity continuity and best friends can also offer immediacy intimacy and reciprocity" --Dr Mehak Sikand former researcher at the Department of Clinical Psychology Nimhans