Corona and couch potato

RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE

Stay home: stay safe,” but how long? The first few days were experimental, as there was no need to go for shopping bidden by the Lady of the House, who did the shopping by herself, but during these virus times, it has become tricky. She will add a few items on the grocery list, as soon as you return with a loaded bag as per the first list.

During the lockdown, the sarkar running our country had made it clear that if you didn’t stay at home, the long cane of the policeman would land on your you know where, scorching your wanderlust. Fortunately, vegetables and fruits came calling at your doorstep with the vendor’s cry, powerful enough to wake up even Corona victims.

Even such relatives who habitually disturb you like an annoying fly lie low.

But heavens help if you are past 75, hypertensive, diabetic, or with cardiac complications, having undergone a bypass for triple vessel blocks. Your regimental wife who takes the doctor’s word like gospel truth will tower over your cringing figure until you get up and leg it inside the 1000 sqft flat. The walk you enjoyed early in the breezy morning under the canopy of lush green leaves, on which its feathery residents, the cuckoos, sparrows, parrots would greet the world with their chirping calls are all missed.

Such a brisk walk inside the flat in lieu of the conventional one is taboo, as no one can be sure of any lurking Covid-19 virus particles. While you can walk like a soldier goose-stepping in a parade ground, such movement is not possible in a matchbox-like dwelling.

Inside the ‘matchbox’ one cannot commence his walk without preparatory work. The furniture in the hall has to be shifted temporarily, tables and chairs pushed to a corner. Easier said than done. The furniture you took pride for their heaviness when you bought them, will remain rooted like the rock of Gibraltar. Some have sharp corners and will go for your kneecaps or toes with vengeance, compelling you to scold them with choice abuses, no doubt in sotto voce.

There is indeed one way out, unless you want to be a Harischandra who always spoke the truth, only the truth, and nothing but the truth. When your wife is in the kitchen, or out of your sight, you can claim to have done that day’s ‘walk’ and exercises. All that you will need is a straight face, but you will be cheating yourself.