Facets of friendship

Right in the middle

Friendships must be nurtured if they are to thrive. “Go oft to a friend’s house or the weeds will mask the path,” goes a saying. The path is virtual more often than not, with friends scattered all over the globe. Friendships can occur at any stage of life with a person of any age. The luckiest are the ones who build warm friendships among their school peers; growing up with shared experiences creates a bonding that is unparalleled.

There are childhood friends who are lucky enough to work in the same city and meet regularly. It is indeed a fulfilling experience when their spouses join in, and children are included too, carrying the friendship down a generation. More often than not, the friendship between boys remains steady, whereas the girls fall behind in this. The obvious reason is that they get too tied up with their careers, along with domestic responsibilities, and find little time for catching up with friends, especially in big cities like Bengaluru.

I remember that my daughter Rukma had tried her best to organise a get-together of school friends and succeeded in luring a handful. The others cited domestic responsibilities and excused themselves. A warm friendship may blossom between unlikely people until the inevitable parting cuts or tones it down. I had an elderly neighbour who became quite close to me during my newlywed years, when the evenings dragged with the husband working long hours. It was with her that I would go for walks, or in her kitchen that I would spend time, watching her cook some delicacies for her children.

We left the place when my husband was transferred for work, and in the absence of cellphones, we lost touch with each other. One fine day, after nearly two decades, she contacted me through a common friend. What a joyful
reunion it was!

I have friends who are mostly quiet, barring a forward or two once in a while, but when we talk, it is as if we had never stopped talking; like my childhood friend, Brunda, who peps me up every single time when I am feeling down. Perhaps that’s what true friendships are.

Sending or receiving morning and night greetings through the ubiquitous Whatsapp may be boring or even annoying, but in a way, it indicates that you remember that person, or vice versa. Incidentally, bonding over messages and phone calls even before meeting in person is also a possibility, as I discovered.

Two of my daughter Rukmai’s close friends became my friends too over the phone after my daughter crossed over to a higher realm. When finally I met them—Ganavi and Manjula, one an accomplished specialised doctor and the other an established engineer—the chemistry was instant, and it was as if we had known each other for ages.

Such relationships seem worthwhile, and I am sure Rukma is flashing her dimpled smile too.