Ignore ingratitude. Do good anyway

Ingratitude is the most common experience in relationships. It is also the hardest cut of all, especially when the ungrateful person happens to be a dear one. Memories of instances that we experienced stay with us lifelong and torture us.

We sacrifice our life to take care of and keep our family happy, but in times of need, particularly during old age, none may come to our aid. We go beyond our limits and help people in their difficult days, but when we need help there is no one to assist you. We pay our taxes honestly but when we ourselves need help, we don’t get back even a portion of it. Such intriguing examples are plenty and confront all of us.

People habitually forget the favours received. The humility with which they approach us when seeking favours somehow vanishes after their purpose is served. Their swift forgetfulness is astonishing. Their language and attitude undergo a sharp transformation from meek humbleness to an arrogant sense of entitlement. They never think of reciprocating even in bits let alone repay in full. The solution appears to be a turn-around change in the perception of the giver. The giver must start questioning his motives objectively and adopt a spiritual approach in understanding his actions.

What is it that he is giving which is really HIS? Did he bring anything when coming into this world and is he taking back with him anything while departing?

In reality, whatever he thinks that he gives is in fact what he has received from the universe in one form or the other. Therefore, when he gives, he should feel that God has given him an opportunity to give back to the universe what he has received from the universe.

The right attitude to be taken by the giver is beautifully expressed by Sri Purandara Dasa, the poet-saint of Karnataka, in his Kannada Devaranama, Kereya neeranu kerege chelli varava padedavarante kaaniro/ Hariya karunadolaada bhagyava hari samarpane maadi badukiro. Meaning, in the same manner as you take water from a lake and pour it back, the giver’s attitude must be that of giving back the considerate bequest of life to God from whom he has received them all. With such an attitude, there will not be any remorse in having helped an ungrateful person.