It pays to be frank

I have  given up questioning my domestic help about her unscheduled leave of absence, because I don’t want to be fooled by the same reasons--a relative’s death or hospitalisation!

Of course, this is a trivial matter pertaining to the employee-employer relationship. Yet, even a genuine question right from a concerned heart  to a dear one like “You are looking disturbed! What is worrying you?” will most likely elicit, “I am far from it. It is just your imagination!”

We draw circles around us cocooning our feelings, problems, frustrations, and lives in them, from which we never step out nor allow others to step in. The modern world prizes individuality and privacy, yet genuine concern can never be equated with interference.

Of course, we all have secrets we wish  to keep safe and white lies are part of every life as consoling a terminally  ill patient with “ you will be fine”.   But habitual fooling , bluffing, diverting benefactors from genuine problems  faced -all this indicates a weak conscience and loose moral fibre.

Ego, embarrassment, lack of communication skills, etc often deter people from  opening up, but sharing is an essential part of any relationship leading to caring.  

Sharing vital  information with sincere inter-connected people around us, regarding our lives, the turns it takes, the hurdles, fears and disappointments it throws up, is not only a moral duty but a practical necessity.

Therapeutic effects of unburdening apart, this could lead to solutions as well!  Besides infusing trust into relationships, it could ease situations, save relationships, clear misunderstandings, heal hearts.

“One should not hide things from one’s lawyer and doctor” goes a saying. I would add a few more to it like spouses, children, and others who form the inner circle of relationships sharing responsibilities.

Experts might give different reasons for the maladies in modern society. Yet, the news of a student committing suicide or a couple’s divorce haunts me; if only he/she had opened up to a responsible, non-judgemental adult to instil the feeling that nothing is above life, a budding life would have been saved; if only the couple had taken someone into confidence to resolve matters, devastating effects on offspring and family might have been spared!