<p>Just a few months after his wife passed away, my uncle gave up the onerous challenge of living. The medical assistance that he had access to and effortlessly afford could do nothing. Towards the end he had only her name on his lips, the decibel controlled by the intensity of pain being endured. This surprised no one since all of us knew them as a dedicated couple who symbolised togetherness.<br /><br />Maami came from a tiny village, Babarajapuram, and an orthodox family. Married off as a teenager she exuded a high level of native intelligence, immense grace and commendable moral courage.<br /><br />This couple belonged to a time when spouses never argued or indulged in serious conversation in the presence of elders or children. Nor did they express any form of affection: yet, that look of tenderness and pride glowed on her face while addressing him. To them, any strong emotion, even remotely intimate, was too sacred to be exposed to public gaze. He never commanded her and the absence of dominance created free and cooperative beings, three daughters included. The family’s mutual feeling of love, friendship and solidarity rested on maami’s graciousness. Now, in their absence,the three sisters share that quality of love- generous, unrestrained and whole hearted.<br /><br />This form of a contended and stable marriage is most definitely not something from the past. It was heartening to hear a friend say of his wife, ‘One God made another.’ The pride, joy and total acceptance was evidently the result of a good measure of generosity and introspection.<br /><br />Bertrand Russell had this to say, “The essence of a good marriage is respect for each others’ personality combined with that deep intimacy, physical, mental and spiritual, which makes a serious love between man and woman the most fructifying of all human experiences. Such love demands its own morality, and frequently entails a sacrifice of the less to the greater; but such sacrifice must be voluntary, for, where it is not, it will destroy the very basis of the love for the sake of which it is made.”</p>
<p>Just a few months after his wife passed away, my uncle gave up the onerous challenge of living. The medical assistance that he had access to and effortlessly afford could do nothing. Towards the end he had only her name on his lips, the decibel controlled by the intensity of pain being endured. This surprised no one since all of us knew them as a dedicated couple who symbolised togetherness.<br /><br />Maami came from a tiny village, Babarajapuram, and an orthodox family. Married off as a teenager she exuded a high level of native intelligence, immense grace and commendable moral courage.<br /><br />This couple belonged to a time when spouses never argued or indulged in serious conversation in the presence of elders or children. Nor did they express any form of affection: yet, that look of tenderness and pride glowed on her face while addressing him. To them, any strong emotion, even remotely intimate, was too sacred to be exposed to public gaze. He never commanded her and the absence of dominance created free and cooperative beings, three daughters included. The family’s mutual feeling of love, friendship and solidarity rested on maami’s graciousness. Now, in their absence,the three sisters share that quality of love- generous, unrestrained and whole hearted.<br /><br />This form of a contended and stable marriage is most definitely not something from the past. It was heartening to hear a friend say of his wife, ‘One God made another.’ The pride, joy and total acceptance was evidently the result of a good measure of generosity and introspection.<br /><br />Bertrand Russell had this to say, “The essence of a good marriage is respect for each others’ personality combined with that deep intimacy, physical, mental and spiritual, which makes a serious love between man and woman the most fructifying of all human experiences. Such love demands its own morality, and frequently entails a sacrifice of the less to the greater; but such sacrifice must be voluntary, for, where it is not, it will destroy the very basis of the love for the sake of which it is made.”</p>
