Coronavirus Lockdown: Work from Home or Work for Home?

By Preeja Aravind

It’s been almost a week of total lockdown across India and people are getting the hang of working from home under these unprecedented conditions. For a working woman like me, however, this is déjà vu.

I have been working from home even before the complete COVID-19 lockdown across India came into effect.

If this lockdown had happened last month, my in-laws would not have been here, and I would have been stuck at home with a hyperactive six-year-old and no help. My work would have suffered while I would have tried to keep him engaged.

By some random chance, I have my mother-in-law here to take over the kitchen and my son’s care.

My son’s school is taking lessons online to keep his entire class occupied, even if it is only for half an hour.

When interruptions become too much, I can close my room, put on headphones and drown out of my son’s tantrums without another thought. I know his grandparents are there on the other side of the door to ensure his well-being. And I am acutely aware that this is a privilege not all women have.

For the working women who are also mothers and wives, these times are especially hard. They have to cook, clean, keep their children occupied and basically be a superwoman, while also acing “Work from Home”. Their ‘Work From Home’ will have little to no distinction from ‘Work For Home’.

While advices such as “dedicated work area”, “get organised”, “plan your workflow”, “draw physical boundaries” sound brilliant, in actuality, these are next to impossible for a working mother.

And for those whose children are under eight—it’s bye-bye professional work.

Her dedicated work area will be overrun by toys or grubby hands. Her child(ren) only know that mom is home. Being organised will be the first casualty as the child(ren) equally stuck at home will run roughshod all over. The mom in the working woman can do nothing but give up on “working” and go hug her child(ren) to make them feel safe.

The problems are numerous. I will not list them—the women doing their best since the lockdown came into effect have faced them already. To every single one of them, all I say is, “Good job, lady! You’ve got this!”

I can also try to give all the working moms ideas—the ones I have been able to think and been implementing with some success—to get their work for and from home in order.

Take care of yourself. In times of lockdown, you can’t go out, but get creative with your ‘me time’. Make your shower five minutes longer. Take extra care to put that moisturizer. Comb your hair. Get dressed properly instead of in a ratty PJ. You don’t have to iron that salwar-kameez/ summer dress/skirt; just wear it. Your mental well-being should be your number 1 priority.

Get enough sleep. Instead of a 6 am alarm, make it 7 or 7.30 am. Remember, you have nowhere to go in a hurry. Give yourself at least the luxury of sleep. And in case your child(ren) come barging, sic them on the father and go to another room and catch up on the sleep. You need it.

Cut yourself some slack. It’s natural to feel frustrated as there is no help and all you seem to do is work, cook, clean, repeat despite sharing work with your spouse or other family members. You can do the chores on alternate days. Cook on alternate days. Sweep house on the other alternate days. Dusting, deep cleaning and mopping can wait for weekends. Instead, spend time with your children. Just sitting and hugging them will do wonders for them.

Food is just sustenance. It’s okay to feed your child(ren) whatever is at hand. Unless your child has epilepsy or allergies, following a meal planner while this lockdown is underway can wait. If their tummy is full and they have a smile on their face, you have already won the war.

Laugh it off. Make silly faces at your child(ren) when they come running to you with some ludicrous request. Children feed off on our anxieties. Being frustrated is only going to feed their tantrums, instead, find your inner comedienne. I learnt this lesson the hard way.

Keep them close. Whenever possible, keep your child in your lap or next to you (or both) while working. Yes, it will take you an hour longer to finish the work, but it will give your conflicting personas of mom and a professional a meeting ground. I do this every day now, for about an hour.

Forgive yourself. Even if your boss/colleague/partner doesn’t understand, you do. You experience the struggle each day. Forgive yourself for not getting any/all of the above done.

Forgive yourself for not feeding your child a nutritious meal. Forgive yourself for not cleaning the house. Forgive yourself for not keeping calm. Forgive yourself for not meeting your own expectation. You gave it your best shot. Forgive yourself for today. You have tomorrow.

Make yourself a cuppa. Whatever your favourite is: green tea, elaichi tea, ginger tea, milk tea; black, green, milk coffee, even hot chocolate would do. But make one. I would advise against alcohol. Engage in point number three at that time. Preferably do it in the late evenings.

If you ask me, I have barely been able to meet four of these eight points on any given day. I have asked for extensions, owned up to not having started/finished some line item and felt guilty about it too.

What I don’t feel guilty about is staying home. I am doing my bit to keep my family safe. I am not stepping out because I have in my household two people over the age of 65 and one under the age of 10.

As I wrote earlier, this is a privilege I have. To be able to have the time to think this. To be able to take our half hour out of my workday to type this. To be able to share this.

I also want to reiterate that these are just a few guidelines that I have figured out for myself. I tweak each one to help me function each day.

All the working mothers out there are welcome to add to these guidelines.
We have two more weeks to go and ladies, we have got them too!