A touch too serious

A touch too serious

Destructive Behaviour

A touch too serious

The recent suicide — wherein a Bangalore-based techie overdosed himself with epilepsy-treating tablets and then swathed his head in duct tape for good measure — has become an addition to the list of rather sordid City crimes which can be traced back to the omnipresent ‘love angle’.

In this case, the victim decided to take this extreme step because his internet girlfriend — a woman he had never met — rejected his amorous advances. What’s really alarming, though, is that he actually chose to end his life over what most would consider to be a trivial reason.  

There’s nothing particularly new about young romance but lately, cutesy anecdotes of childhood sweethearts seem to have morphed into disturbing recounts of murder and suicide. 

Some attribute this to the fact that an unhealthy seriousness has crept into the dynamic that exists between young couples; and instances such as the North-Eastern student who hanged himself in front of his dumbstruck girlfriend, or the young girl who had was recently killed in BTM Layout by an unhappy lover, are simply indicators of this alarming trend. Metrolife speaks to a few Bangaloreans and psychologists to find out whether youngsters have become much too serious in their relationships — and why this could be.

Sapna, a software engineer, believes that the demands of modern life have led to unrealistic expectations and high-strung tempers. “On one level, it’s a sign of immaturity. People who are in relationships tend to show off, which is when peer pressure begins to build. The concept of being in a relationship is very hyped and people tend to expect too much from their partners,” she points out.

Lakshmi Acharya, a psychologist, believes that there are many factors that come together and give rise to increased dependency on one’s partner. 

“On one hand, many of these youngsters live by themselves in the City — so loneliness is definitely one facet of the problem. But more than this, the very concept of love has changed. Couples don’t take the time to really understand each other but because being in a relationship enjoys a lot of social acceptance, they tend to fear losing the other,” she explains.

 “Today, people judge their self-worth on several external factors — which is why they take any form of rejection as a huge catastrophe and resort to self-destructive behaviour.”

Vrinda, a law student, believes that such behaviour is common amongst people who lack any sort of support system save for their partners. 

“A lot of this is also a function of having free time — if one keeps busy and has a lot of activity around them, it makes a difference in how they handle relationships. I think there is a sense of peer pressure to be in a relationship at the school level, which is why youngsters tend to take them very seriously,” she concludes.

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