All about making the first move

Gender game

Aren’t we living in the times that openly welcome independent,
single women – be it in high-career positions or even enjoying high-salaried jobs that till now were considered a preserve of men?

Women, be it the Sonia Gandhis, Kiran Mazumdar Shaws or the Chanda Kochhars of this country, have come a long way. They have successfully overcome the challenges of time and through their diligence, calibre, guts and hardwork  have broken the glass ceiling in a male-dominated world to show that they are second to none, indeed the best on many an occasion.

Given this scenario, one would think women would be as aggressive in their personal life and matters of dating as well, just as they are in other aspects of their life. Ironically, this is not so! Although, there are aggressive women out there with whom one can mess around with only at one’s peril, but they are ‘rare’ and ‘few’. The fact is that despite their competitiveness and aggression that marks their professional life, women still shy away from being the initiators in the dating game, preferring to be ‘pursued and wooed’ rather than be the first one to make the ‘move’. It is always a man’s job to ask a woman out on a date.

So, why are women scared to take the first step? What stops them from approaching a man? And, is it fair to only depend on a man to propose to his lady love? According to Kanika Kumar, a mediaperson, “A lot can be said about a man by the way he approaches a woman. It shows if he is insecure, confident or maybe even over-confident. His pickup lines and his proposing method also speaks a lot about his personality. Accepting his proposal is besides the point, but knowing his attitude towards women is more important.”

Women always like their men to make the first move, whether it is to ask the woman out for a date or even during an intimate moment, because they have been always taught to be reticent and reserved about their sexual urges, while men have the licence to enjoy their philandering. While women are more emotional about their relationships and avoid physical intimacy, men are just
the opposite.

Young college-going student Ruchika Sinha, says, “The Indian society is such that from day one it has been inculcated in us that men are superior than women and they have all the right on us but not vice-versa. Hence, we always shy away from approaching a guy. Also, there is a thinking that if a girl has proposed to a guy, she must be quite ‘open’ and ‘bold’ – which an Indian girl is not supposed to be. Even our films and ads say this thing. It is the hero who will be fighting for a heroine!”

But, if the list of dos’ and don’ts’ of what women want and expect from the men are so lengthy, it makes sense for women to ‘choose’ the best from the rest and propose to them. So, this Valentine’s Day shed all your inhibitions and propose to the guy you are in love with – it might just add morefizz to your romance!

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