All about sharing responsibilities

Gender bender

Everyone needs a companion, be it a man or a woman. But, what if the partner is not a companion and just another person in your life who instead of raising the  happiness quotient merely adds to the woes and stress level?

When we speak about a true companion, we think about our parents, our  special friends and eventually wives and husbands. Companionship is all about caring, sharing, and doing things together from thoughts to household chores to raising children.

Unfortunately, when it comes to doing household chores, men most often than not, pass it off as a job ‘only-meant-for-women’? Sometimes they also have an issue about career-driven women. Taking a cue from real life, even the big screen has portrayed the dilemma which confronts a woman who ultimately has to choose between her successful career and her family. The 70’s movie Abhimaan, starring Amitabh and Jaya Bachchan put the spotlight on the touchy side of the protagonist  who was not happy with the success of his wife’s singing career.

Where has this very concept of ‘only women should do household work’ come from? Why can’t men wash utensils and cook meals for their spouses and children? Until few years back, men would just order their wives for even the smallest of the things. But, mercifully things are changing and men are gradually becoming a more sensitive towards their wives, their careers and their role as homemakers.

Prabal Arora, a 29-year-old banker, married for three years now shared his experience. “I help my wife a lot in terms of household chores. Be it washing clothes or cooking, I help her in everything. Weekend is actually meant to be a ‘relaxing day’ for her. And it is not that these things were imposed on me, I like to share the responsibilities. It is like living with your buddy.”

The banker comparing his case to that of his father’s, said, “On the other hand, my father is just the opposite. It is like spoonfeeding. It is the task of my mother to keep everything handy every morning, from socks to handkerchief to his tie as he can’t colour coordinate his attire. And this has been going on for ages. My mother is doing everything for him.”

Malita Vincent, a housewife, into 12 years of marriage also praised her ‘efficient’ husband for sharing various household chores with her. “He helps me in everything, from kitchen to baby sitting. You know, nowadays, men know that everything cannot be done by just one person and so gradually they have started helping their wives. And it is not about ego now, because if both of us are working, there has to be a way out for handling household matters.”

Even Dr Brigadier Sudarshanan felt that nowadays patis are changing their attitudes. “This is a practice mainly in the urban areas where both husband and wife are working, have odd working hours and can’t engage servants during these odd hours. And moreover, there is no choice now, one has to help their spouses, because otherwise things cannot be managed.

Although such adjusting husbands are in a minority, but things are gradually changing for the better.”

“Also, the younger generation is more sensitive, accomodating and caring towards everything. And it is also about habits, if a man has helped out with chores at home  during his younger days, he will surely help his wife in household chores at a later stage also,” added Dr Sudarshanan.