The freedom to share

The many incidents of child abuse have had parents sharing a more open relationship with their children, with both sides opening up on hitherto taboo topics.

Most parents and child psychologists feel that children must be taught the difference between good and bad touch from a very young age.
 Children must be given the freedom to talk openly to their parents and teachers. This will go a long way in making sure that they are safe.

While most parents are happy with the safety measures adopted in schools, they feel more needs to be done. Parents feel schools should be extremely careful while recruiting their staff. Ramesh Venkatesh and his wife Kavitha have a two-year-old daughter. Ramesh feels parents can prepare their children only to a certain extent, “When the child is at school, it is the school management’s responsibility. There was an incident where my child complained of being beaten by the help at the school. The CCTV grabs helped us cross-check,” says Ramesh.

Haresh Gowda and Manasa have five-year-old twin girls. Haresh says that he never lets his children play outside the house without supervision. “The school that our children go to has tight security so we aren’t worried. Parents must encourage their children to open up and talk about even the smallest happenings at school and otherwise,” he states.
Vishakha Dey-Shenoy is a working mother with three sons — Inesh, Ishaan and Iresh. She points out that her children are well-informed about the dangers of talking to a stranger.

“The children inform us of everything that happens at school and home. My husband and I share a friendly relationship with them. This not only helps them feel safe and secure but gives them a lot of confidence as well,” she shares. 

Psychologists are of the opinion that parents must prepare their children to handle emotional stress and address their anxieties without any delay. John Vijay Sagar, additional professor, Child Psychiatry, NIMHANS, feels that parents need to approach their children in a more positive and friendly manner.

“We get a lot of cases where the child is disturbed because of some abuse or being teased by friends. Parents must talk to their children to understand their anxieties and the pressure they face. This will lead to a more open communication between them,” Vijay states.

He states that children who face some kind of abuse fear talking to their parents about it for many reasons.

“Firstly, they feel parents may not believe them and secondly, the perpetrator may be known to the child. The child may have also been threatened into not talking about it to anybody,” shares Vijay.

 He points out that the child is usually very stressed after he or she has been abused and parents must be supportive and never blame the child. “Parents must encourage the child to open up to them,” he sums up.