JOIN USBuilding self-esteem in school children
Every individual has a picture of oneself drawn up. The physical appearance and body image contributes to what we think of ourselves.
In addition, there is also a mental makeup. However, we are not aware of our mental make up as much as we are aware of our physical makeup. We may be vaguely aware of ourselves being shy or bold, introvert or an extrovert, reserved or gregarious. Both the physical and mental picture that we have of ourselves defines our self-esteem.
Self-esteem can also be seen as our appreciation of our own worth and importance. It is having the character to be accountable for our behaviours and acting responsibly towards others. In the Bhagawad Gita, there is a reference to self-image, Yad Bhavam, Tad Bhavati. This translates to ‘you are what you believe’. So how do enable positive, stronger self esteem among children? Let’s take a overview:
Development of self-esteem
Self-esteem is built over the years. The experiences an individual gets from the surroundings forms one’s worth. The individual starts comparing oneself to others and in the process, develops self-esteem. Schools play an important role in developing this trait in students as they spend a substantial amount of time here.
They compare themselves with their peers and the school contributes a lot by way of providing experiences in curricular and co-curricular areas. The opportunities provided to students in the school and also demands placed on them will affect self-esteem. During adulthood, the individuals define themselves in terms of the possessions they have, the work status and the values they subscribe to and cherish.
Self-esteem is also developed by one’s attitude towards peers and members of family. The parental expectation influences to a great extent. The physical state of the individual in relation to their maturation matters in the formation of self-concept. The socio-economic background of the family and the impact of media such as television shape the self-esteem.
Effects of low self-esteem
People with low self-esteem tend to have troubled relationships and therefore, are less productive in their work arenas. They attribute success to luck rather than skill or hard work and failures are attributed to reasons outside them. At times, they are hostile and have less respect for others. They exhibit intemperate habits. They blame people around them for whenever something goes wrong. They are very poor team members. This is particularly true of students seen in their successes and failures, their problems with adjustment with peers and the school as a whole. The tantrums, the little games they play are rooted in their self-esteem.
Pointers to high self-esteem
On the other hand, people with high self-esteem tend to have a variety of self-confident behaviours. They help others and also accept help when in need. They accept people around them as unique and talented individuals. It helps them to control their emotions without letting them affect their behaviour negatively. They are future oriented and not unduly concerned with past failures. Students who have a high self-esteem perform well in their tasks as they are aware of what they are capable of and how to optimise their abilities.
Healthy school climate
An environment of minimal threat and punishment, preventive and positive discipline augurs well for the development of self-esteem. Students learn at different paces and our instruction should cater to these different paced learners. Failure can cause a severe dent to their psyche and hence should be avoided. The students should be made themselves responsible for their learning pace.
Role of teachers
In a school setting, it so happens that the teachers are preoccupied with themselves so much so that they forget the important stake holder that they are dealing with. They have to be concerned with students. They have to be non-threatening and never embarrass children especially in front of the class. If there are any issues to be resolved, the same can be carried out in a relaxed atmosphere. Teachers have to be available to children at all times and listen to them without being judgmental. They have to be careful with their negative feelings. In fact, teachers give a part of themselves in forming the personality of their students.
Nurturing success
All incremental successes of students, however small they are, have to be duly acknowledged and appreciated. Teachers have to build on strengths instead of harping weaknesses. The ability of students to improve as demonstrated by their work is to be pointed out to them and give a scaffold for them to scale new heights. The expectations have to be realistic and goal posts have to be set which are achievable. Without being evaluative the positives have to be stated.
What the students should do: The students should take responsibility for their actions. They have to be taught to take charge of the situation and plan for a better tomorrow. Students should be making informed choices and carry out their plan of action. They should have the hunger for learning new things without giving up. If self-motivation is built in, the students themselves become self-directed. They should be helped for their personal development.
(the author is Assistant Commissioner (Retired) Kendriya Vidyalaya
Sangathan)