JOIN USWhat is love?" I pondered while looking out of the window of my aircraft during a flight from Mumbai to Delhi. Is it what I feel every time I leave this "Maximum city" that has given me much by way of name and fame, or is it the love I feel for Delhi where I am greeted by the warmth of many friends and family.
Is love that pang I feel for my son when I leave him at home when I travel - even if it is for just a couple of days, or is it what I feel when a friend of mine calls me after seeing a contemplative post on Instagram, enquiring if my mood has been prompted by anybody being mean to me – with the attendant promise to "fix" whoever may be the cause of my rumination!
Well I don't know what the answer to any of the above is, but I do know one thing - that love is that comforting blanket which envelopes you with a sense of security every time you feel happy or sad. Love is actually everywhere, it surrounds us all the time but most of the time we fail to acknowledge it because love manifests itself in strange ways which are often not obvious.
Even though we celebrate love with aplomb on occasions like Valentine's Day, I believe that the power of love is completely underrated. We think of love only as a fairytale synonym and not as the go-to emotion that helps us sail through life!
We often hear people complaining that no one loves them; I would urge them to look around. It's impossible that there is no one in their midst who loves them. We often don't recognise love even when it stares us in the face.
We all meet so many people who, in some way or the other, have touched our lives and have changed it for the better. Haven't we? But we never use the word 'love' in this kind of context and behave as if love is the preserve of immediate family and close friends. Love is present in every minute act of kindness, in sacrifice, in words of appreciation, in sharing, in giving and even in receiving.
Which brings me to another description of love, one which I'm not in complete agreement with - love is unconditional. Well, when love is not reciprocated, it hurts, whether one wants to acknowledge it or not. When you invest your time, energy and emotions in someone, whether it's your lover/spouse, children, parents, or friends, you would like them to love you back, wouldn't you?
A close friend once said to me, in the middle of a friendly argument, that it was quite shocking that I barely knew anything about what her family members did. My immediate reaction was "But I know everything about you". Pat came her retort "My family is a part of me and true friends should make an effort to get to know them better". I have to confess that at some level I agreed with her but I would not have realised this had she not brought it up.
Sometimes it's important to let others know what you expect as unfortunately, but at a subconscious level, we humans have a tendency to be self-centred. Sometimes one just forgets or is too busy to go that extra mile to reciprocate and that can hurt the other.
So this Valentine's Day let's try and give back, even if it be in the smallest way, to all those who have given us something that has made a difference to our lives. I will end with these beautiful lines by Rumi - "Love is the bridge between you and everything." So go on, build that bridge, give more than what you expect to receive but don't make it a one-way track, be open to receiving too; trust me you've earned it.
Amrita Raichand
(Chef and TV personality)