Tech deaddiction stories from a clinic in Bengaluru

How bad can technology addiction really be?” my colleague asks, half-serious, half-sarcastic, as we discuss my visit to an Internet deaddiction centre in Bengaluru .

. Dr Manoj Kumar Sharma gives a reality check: “Families come to us crying, with folded hands, with scratches on their bodies... They beg us to help with their child’s phone problem. ‘He doesn’t leave his room. He doesn’t talk. He has lost lakhs of rupees’, they say... Working mothers feel guilty for not giving attention to their kids. Some quit their careers, yet can’t get them to quit their phones. Parents blame each other for their child’s condition, and that takes a toll on the marriage... Technology addiction is an emerging crisis, but it has parallels with alcohol addiction in that it leads to social isolation, violence, and distress in the family.”

. Dr Sharma is the coordinator of the Service for Healthy Use of Technology, known simply as the SHUT Clinic. It is an initiative by Nimhans, India’s apex institution for mental health and neurosciences.

. When it was launched in 2014, the SHUT Clinic was India’s first service dedicated to helping people overcome excessive gaming, pornography, online trading and gambling, social media use, general screen time, or a combination of these. Even today, people travel from Jaipur, Lucknow, and Guwahati for in-person consultations, priced at Rs 200 per visit. Counselling over the helpline is free.

. It offers an 8-session programme to help individuals reset their digital habits, not through abstinence, but by learning self-regulation. Because after 60 to 90 minutes of weekly counselling, clients have to get back to the real world, where digital temptations are inevitable. “A few clients stay in therapy with us for 1-1.5 years. Most approach us when it’s already ‘quite late’,” says Dr Sharma, who is a professor of clinical psychology at Nimhans.

. ‘90 new cases in 2024’

. I visit the SHUT Clinic on a Tuesday. It operates out of the Nimhans Centre for Wellbeing (NCWB) in BTM Layout. NCWB also offers counselling for parent-child relationships, marriage, academics, and trauma recovery. Yet, digital dependency brings half the visitors here. They come voluntarily or due to pressure from their families. New and follow-up consultations at the SHUT Clinic have gone up from 3-4 per week in the early years to 10-15 now. It saw 90 new cases in 2024.

. The campus has arches covered in creeping vines, a gazebo styled with clay tiles, and tall palm trees. Low-rise apartments surround it. How many cases come from the neighbourhood? “A residential school once invited me to address students about using technology in moderation,” recalls Dr Sharma.

. We proceed to the building. It is the colour of pink sandstone. An empty transparent container on the reception desk catches my eye — it’s a Digital Detox Box. A startup has provided it for staff to lock away their phones and unplug. The receptionist encourages clients to stroll around the green campus or leaf through self-help pamphlets in the racks while waiting, but they stay fixed on their phones.

. Clinical definition

. One is at risk of digital addiction if one meets four or all five of these criteria: Do you constantly crave a particular technology? Do you find it impossible to control the impulse? Do you turn to technology to manage your emotions — whether positive or negative? Has it evolved into a compulsive habit? Do you keep using it even when it leads to dysfunctional choices, like skipping meals, sleep, or studies?

. I run a self-check mentally. Sure, I lose track of time with dance reels, get caught in zombie scrolling, and can’t bring myself to turn off a terrible TV show. But I’m punctual for work, I hit 10,000 steps a day, and I enjoy making crafts. No dysfunctions. I’m fine. However, I sleep after my phone dies — sometimes as late as 3 am, and that, according to Dr Sharma, is a “7 out of 10” on the risk scale. In contrast, he puts his phone away 30 minutes before bed.

. He notes that fields like software, e-sports, and journalism naturally have high Internet dependency. But even excessive professional use can lead to “digital burnout”, he warns. I am surprised that they have never seen an influencer at the clinic. The average influencer picks up their phone 342 times a day, versus 52 times by non-influencers, I had once read.

. Dr Sharma heads out for an appointment and suggests I speak to “JCs” in between their sessions. These are PhD scholars who work as junior consultants at the SHUT Clinic. They are researching different aspects of online addiction, including artificial intelligence mindfulness as potential interventions.

.The scorn around porn addiction. Phone over school

. Until 2019, most cases came from the 14 to 19 age group. During the pandemic, this demographic widened to 14 to 25, and even pre-teens and adults well into their 50s found themselves in the clutches of phones, laptops, and tablets.

. The JCs share stories behind these numbers, overwhelmingly involving boys. Under 1 per cent of those who approach them are women or girls.

. A Class 7 boy is Ahsana T H’s client for the day, brought in unwillingly by his banker father and homemaker mother from the city outskirts. “On his parents’ complaint, a teacher confiscated his phone in class. He returned home, started hitting his parents, threatened to kill himself, and locked himself up in his room,” says Ahsana. “I like my phone so much; more than school. I want to be a gamer, a YouTuber (sic),” the boy told her. I also learn about a 15-year-old boy who pulled his mother’s hair out when she tried to take away his phone.

. The cases remind me of what Dr Sharma had told me a while ago: “Gen Z is born into the digital age. A phone is an extension of their hand. Taking it away feels like attacking their identity.” He had shared an example of a family who sold all their phones, TV, and personal computer to become a “role model” for their teenage son. He was neglecting his studies, staying indoors, and having mood swings. The boy demanded his phone back angrily.

. Syed Yaseen Ahmed recalls a middle-schooler who stole Rs 2.5 lakh from his family to buy multiple phones. “He wanted to play games like his classmates and wanted a better phone. He didn’t think he’d done anything wrong. Money wasn’t an issue for his parents; they were wealthy. They wanted him to come out of this habit,” he shares.

. Neha John is reminded of a college freshman who admitted that 12-14 hours of gaming was “unhealthy” but didn’t see it as a “problem”. His argument: “My mother is always working or scrolling. She doesn’t mind if I eat chocolates, but the moment I pick up my phone, she yells at me. I could be doing worse things.” The boy had undiagnosed attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, while his mother, a single parent, showed signs of depression. “Both were using their phones to cope with conflicts in their relationship and their lives,” Neha explains.

. But when parents who bring their kids in for help are told they might need help too, most get defensive or brush it off. “Let’s tackle one problem first!” they say.

. Underlying issues

. These clinical psychologists emphasise that technology dependence is a coping mechanism. It’s the tip of the iceberg; real issues lie beneath. It’s like watching reruns of your favourite TV show on stressful days. Initially, it’s comforting, but over time, it becomes a way to tune out of niggling feelings.

. Hridhya M S has counselled two youngsters today. One became withdrawn after his father’s passing. He was cooped up in his hostel room, consumed by shorts, reels, and manga, ignoring his mother’s calls and bunking college. The other got trapped in a “cycle of doomscrolling, pornography, and Netflix” for 12-16 hours a day during a medical break.

. Hridhya brings to my attention an old case where distraction turned into addiction. A seven-year-old boy was hooked on Free Fire, a survival shooter game intended for 18+ players. His family had come all the way from the northeast. “He was in pain due to an ongoing treatment, so his mother let him play Free Fire on her phone. Soon, he stopped brushing and bathing, and became irritable,” she shares. Free Fire, Valorant, and Roblox are some reasons for gaming fixations these days.

. More such stories surface during counselling: teens with troubled childhoods and overbearing parents, and women and men scarred by failed marriages. Undiagnosed personality disorders or depression also come to light. Only a fraction of cases require active psychiatric treatment, which they refer to the main Nimhans campus on Hosur Road.

. Chasing losses

. Uncontrolled online trading is seen in the 25-35 age group. Saradha S recalls a 30-something IT professional who had racked up a debt of Rs 30 lakh. He was earning well. Driven by the prospect of financial freedom and the thrill of big wins, he downloaded a trading app with a low brokerage fee. He invested Rs 15,000 initially but raised his stakes to Rs 50,000 and then Rs 1 lakh to recoup the money he was losing. This is called ‘chasing losses’. “He wasn’t slacking at work. But he was constantly anxious, frustrated, and guilty for taking loans — through credit cards and websites,” she shares.

. Shweta Sunil is reminded of a 40-year-old businessman who was in the grip of ‘gambler’s fallacy’. “Despite losses, he kept gambling, convinced that luck was just around the corner. His wife had convinced him to consider counselling,” she shares.

. Then follows the story of a 17-year-old boy who transferred Rs 25,000 from his parents’ account via Google Pay to place bets. The parents were unversed with digital wallets.

. Since the technology is constantly evolving, sometimes consultations also include educating families on cyber literacy, and cautioning youngsters about online crimes.

. Porn and guilt

. Pornography is a significant challenge in the 18-25 age group, and users struggle with feelings of guilt, isolation, and sexual dissatisfaction.

. Rajashekar recalls a young man from a conservative family. “He didn’t spend all that much time on adult content, but the fact that he was watching something ‘taboo’ made him feel like he was ‘out of control’,” he shares.

. The effects of pornography addiction are far-reaching — couples lose intimacy, men experience low libido and perverse thoughts, and students shun studies, friends, and family. Young women develop a poor self-image. “A senior citizen got hooked on pornography after his wife’s death — he felt lonely. In cases of pornography, gambling and trading, we suggest a bit of tech abstinence,” says Dr Sharma.

.Tech addiction: Paths to recovery. Beating boredom

. These psychologists help clients recognise how tech overuse is affecting their lives, identify underlying triggers, find healthy distractions in the offline world, and keep them motivated, with emails and calls even.

. Dr Sharma talks about an engineering student who has almost wrested control of his life. A year ago, he was spending 3-4 hours a day on adult entertainment and masturbating any chance he got. After 10 weeks of therapy and intermittent “booster sessions”, his pornography dependence has dropped to once a week or fortnight. He is focusing on job interviews. He plays basketball, practices meditation, and spends weekends with his family.

. But cultivating offline distractions in the digital age has become harder than ever. Clients often ask, “What should we do instead of using our phones?”. Dr Sharma says we’ve forgotten to nurture offline pastimes, like learning a musical instrument or reading. “Studies show physical activities release dopamine (the ‘happy hormone’) slowly, while tech provides an instant ‘kick’, which makes everything else less appealing. Technology is a big shift in how we handle boredom today,” explains Syed.

. On bad days even the JCs tend to overindulge in travel reels, edutainment videos, and memes of all kinds. But timers and app blockers on their phones help keep them in check. Some vent to a friend or turn to mindfulness to ride out a rough moment. Others like to hit the gym, read a book, or go for a drive in downtime.

. Staying motivated is another challenge. Many clients struggle after five or six sessions, and relapses shake their confidence — especially if their families lose patience. Dr Sharma recalls a bright high schooler: “Every time he slacked in therapy, his mother lost hope, which made him doubt the process and relapse into gaming and social media. We had to counsel her to manage her anxiety. In the end, he excelled in Class 12 and secured a seat in an engineering college.”

. In another case, they had to address a father’s anxiety about his son’s future more than the child’s own struggles with screen addiction due to peer pressure. “The child is now completing a postgraduate programme,” shares Dr Sharma.

. Those who break free from screens often express their gratitude — through heartfelt emails, visits, or small gestures. Some adults have turned to meditation or weekend getaways to recharge. A youngster encourages his peers to open up, “like a counsellor”. A child made them doughnuts. Yet another painted a poster on Internet addiction, featuring the logo of the SHUT Clinic, to highlight its service in promoting healthy use of technology.

. Need help?

. The SHUT Clinic runs out of NCWB in Bengaluru. In-person consultations are held thrice a week — Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, 9 am onwards. Helpline (94808 29675) open from 9.30 am to 1 pm on Fridays. Call94808 29670 for details.

. Like this story? Email: dhonsat@deccanherald.co.in

Tech deaddiction stories from a clinic in Bengaluru

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