How positive words transform relationships

Choice of words helps us avoid hurting people while at the same time conveying what we have in mind. ‘It is about taking control of your words,’ a friend recently remarked.

Once I was having a discussion with a colleague over how to build a consensus amongst our team members on an issue; we thought there could be divergence of views. He completely disarmed me with a flattering fiat, ‘Will let you take that lead.’ Had the phrasing been ‘Will you take that lead?’ the listening impact would have been rather negative. How the insertion of a small word, ‘let’, in the sentence changed the colour and flavour of the meaning.

The tone also varies with the text. The utterance of positive words automatically assumes positive tone. I recall another instance of positive speaking. A friend seemed annoyed over a remark I casually made. Realising that it did not go down well, I asked, “Are you offended?” To the credit of my friend, he simply said ‘sort of’, instead of flatly saying ‘yes’. ‘Sort of’ took away the bluntness that a ‘yes’ would have inflicted.

We commonly believe that thinking influences speaking. However, the hypothesis can be true vice versa also. Positive speaking is also likely to induce positive thinking. If we consciously cultivate positive speaking and weigh our words before uttering them, it would gradually germinate positive thinking also. Positive speaking will yield positive results as it strikes the right chords with the target audience.

The purpose of communication is to convey what you have in mind. It is not to hurt or offend others. Words should not be used as barbs. Words become weapons in the mouths of couples indulging in internecine warfare. Nobody likes to hear accusing words. Instead of saying ‘you haven’t done this’ or ‘you haven’t done that’, try to say, ‘Please do this.’ Words can either be like flowers you are offering to or like stones you are throwing at your listeners. Whatever you offer, the same stuff bounces on you eventually.

The art of communication lies in speaking what you have in mind
without sounding like you are accusing or being sarcastic. Positive Speaking is bound to yield positive outcome. Words are a potent tool. It is preferable to sound cool rather than like a fool.